from a distance.

I never really expected this but that doesn’t necessarily mean I wasn’t seeking it.
That being said,
Philadelphia is where I found her, or maybe it's where I found a part of myself.
Our business conference brought us together. Who would have thought that something so shallow, can bring so much substance into our lives?
I could see her from a distance, shining bright with her vibrant bright blazer and her shiny, coconut oil infested curly hair.
Time stopped for me but her world kept moving.
Fast forward a couple of hours, and the universe placed us right in front of each other.
The opposite of distance.
The warm feeling in me made me realize that distance is not an external factor but more of a state of mind.
By the time I knew it, the distance I felt disappeared for the moment and our minds connected like two puzzle pieces.
It was only then that she stepped into my universe
and as we experienced, our time slowed down.
Her: “What are you looking at?”
Him: “I have a staring problem, I can’t look at you?”
Her: “I can tell ..”
she smiles, while she looks away.
What I really wanted to say is how her appearance completely embodied and defined my interpretation of what beauty is.
But no,
those words would have never left my self-centered, egotistical mind, at the time.
We found ourselves living apart, but I found myself admiring her from a distance.
Fast forward a month and we reconnected once again.
She was excited to see me, but the words and the thoughts in my head remained at a distance.
Actions speak louder than words, they said.
Would I tell her what I was doing when I was at a distance from her? Maybe, later.
But at that moment, our world froze again.
Her: “Are we going to work this out?”
Him: “Of course, we are”
Her: “We’ll be closer one day, we just have to be patient.”
I said that knowing that I might fall victim to distance
But distance is a state of mind, so I fell victim to myself.
It was almost as if I saw what I wanted, surely but slowly pull away from me.
So now, my mind was affecting my world, and pushing her into the distance was inevitable.
Distance consumed me and by the time I knew it, the damage was done.
Him: “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
Her: “What do you mean?”
Him: “I’m sorry but you are there and I am here.”
Just like that, my mind severed me and I pulled the plug.
& even though I split apart the very two pieces to the puzzle that completed me
I noticed that my fascination and love for her was always expressed from a distance.
- AG 🥀

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