Politics doesn’t matter.

This is perhaps an odd thing to write for someone who has spent the last 10 years of her life devoted to both the practice and study of politics.

But a month changes things. The afternoon of the 16th June was the England v Wales game. Then came the news about Jo Cox, brutally murdered for reasons unknown (although the attacker’s cry of ‘death to traitors, freedom for Britain’ gives some indication). I’d only met Jo in a work capacity a few times, but she struck me as a lovely woman, excitable but unflappable. It was a desperately sad few days. Then came a referendum to fight. The 30 minute queue I faced at my polling station at 8.30am on the day had reassured me that turnout would be high, and Remain would be fine. At around 2am it became clear that things wouldn’t be fine, and the rest is history. What has followed is three weeks of madness. Resignation after resignation, like rats fleeing sinking ships. Leadership contests that never begun. Threats of further referendums and further moves to a federal UK. The most exciting, unpredictable period of politics.

But this period has also coincided with my realisation that politics doesn’t matter.

At a personal level, 2016 has been dominated by a series of mini disasters. Nothing life altering, but a cumulative series of misfortunes. Health, relationships, employment matters, both my own and those close to me. In my attempts to deal with these things, these typically normal things that people across the UK are facing, politics doesn’t have a solution. There are definitely policy solutions, but no one is talking about them. Government is on hold. We don’t have an Opposition. Right now, looking to Westminster for a solution is futile.

The legalities of a Labour leadership challenge don’t matter if you can’t get a doctor’s appointment for weeks, at a time when you are struggling. Michael Gove outmanoeuvring Boris Johnson to get a place on the Tory ballot paper doesn’t matter if you’re worried about job security. The instability and the turbulence at Westminster is entertaining for about half an hour. And then you realise that politics has created an policy impasse. Nothing will be done for months on end. Theresa May’s coronation as PM may expedite the process of getting government back on track. But look at the Tory record since 2015, the first ‘true blue’ government in 18 years. Placating right-wingers with an EU referendum. Pushing through anti-trade union legislation. Battles that didn’t need to be fought. This is without mentioning the threat of an early general election. More delay and inertia.

Of course the Labour travails depress me more than the rest of it. Because in large part I’ve already made the leap. Someone who grew up needing a Labour government, to someone who doesn’t. Every fibre of my being wants Labour in power, in Westminster, Holyrood, Cardiff and in local councils across the UK. But I don’t need a Labour government in the way that I once did. Despite my series of mini disasters this year, by and large, I’m alright Jack.

Which is part of the reason for my despondency. I can afford to sit around and philosophise about what I would do about Trident and defence policy, about the privatisation of the rail system, or about EU membership if I was making policy from scratch, if we lived in an ideal world. What a Labour Party could be if we were starting again. It shouldn’t be news to anyone that we don’t have an ideal world. Labour fighting ideological battles of the 1980s, when we need to be being practical upsets me most of all.

We expect this behaviour from Tory politicians, rightly or wrongly. Self-interested, far removed from the people most in need of a good government. But we put ourselves on a higher moral pedestal. We claim ‘the clue is in the name’, and we’re there for the working population. When we are out of power we cannot deliver for these people. And in the last 9 months we have failed as a party to do anything practical to get ourselves back there.

We assumed that after the referendum that Tories would tack to the right, and we fell for the trap. Much Osborne’s latter budgets, Theresa May’s tanks are on Labour’s lawn. She recites speeches about worker representation on boards, that may as well have been written by Stewart Wood. The Tories delivering for workers while Labour pontificates about the Cuban government? It is an incredulous thought, because it disrupts the order of things. Workers’ rights are our battle, our territory, why we’re here. We’re not talking about things that impact on our voters’ day to day lives, because of the vanity and complacency of the leadership.

I know more about the Labour leadership’s views on the sovereignty of the Falklands than I do on welfare to work schemes. I know more about the Labour leadership’s views on the legalisation of prostitution than I do about driving up standards in schools, if academisation isn’t the answer. I know what I need to know about the Labour leadership’s views on mental health by the scrapping of the Shadow Minister for Mental Health role.

It may be that the current Labour leadership has centre left solutions to all these problems, but there’s been enough time to communicate it. For those waiting on an answer, the wait has gone on too long. If those at the top of the Labour Party genuinely believed in the power of the movement, rather than the personality cult around Corbyn, then stepping aside and allowing someone else from the Hard Left to run would deliver the same result. But the shambles of recent weeks hasn’t been about principles, it’s been about control of buildings and bank accounts. Allowing Labour to split is not only a dereliction of duty to party members, it lets down 9 million voters who wanted something different last time round.

So right now, until we have a grown-up political system, politics doesn’t matter. Until there is a solution on what the hell the Government does about exiting the EU, politics doesn’t matter. Until we have an Opposition that wants to make delivering a Labour government a priority, politics doesn’t matter. The majority of MPs from all sides of the House are decent and sincere. Whatever political ideology MPs ascribe to, the idea that the wellbeing of their constituents isn’t their primary concern is by and large untrue. I know that from the privileged position of the Westminster bubble. But I’m not who needs convincing.