“Dealing with mild autism”
It was where the story from the beginning started when I was around 4 years old in reception and parents and teachers new I was a bubbly but quiet child and singled out from the rest.
I used to say dream and ace strange in classes. A certain day I fed kid berries over this fence in the school grounds which could of been poisonous and in year 1 I actually turned around and got other excited and bit my best friends shoulder blade and had to stand in the corner for it and once tore my other best friends jacket running around in the playground.
All them so called it “popular” mums as they called themselves just thought I was the odd’n, rough and horrible child but yet little did they know to this present day I could/may have mild autism what it turns out to be but I am currently awaiting a hospital referral to be transferred for a screening me and mum did attend an appointment at the Paston health centre for an assessment and a chat and me and mum actually both wrote some notes down together between us as bullet pointed notes about myself as the differences we feel over the years growing up and dealing with things from my childhood to trauma and abuse and how it has all affected the way I have learned and worked grow it up through my school life and coming into the work ethic side of things.
I am very OCD when it comes to things I used to have imaginary friends which is assumed to be class normal for any child but have lists for things to buy or have to have my phone forever on me or I am on point with things or if something isn’t right I can’t leave it I have to go back to the subject and sort it straight away.
I over think 24/7 wether it’s about totally random things or the simplest thing I once found and then completely slipped my mind I will spend probably several days/ weeks on trying to figure it out or find it and it is one of the most stressful things for me or I will try to unravel it to assume it’s something the total opposite but similar to it matching the problem and that’s the only way I can eventually let it slip and solve the issue to try and leave my mind.
I get upset and cry over silly emotional things which can lead me into setting my anxiety and depression off bad I won’t throw or hit anything I just get snappy, frustrated and angry at everything but I eventually say sorry and begin to feel the urge breaking down slower and slower..
To this day it’s a long waiting game but the day will come where I shall get the full diagnosis for myself but not only myself but for my family and to be accepted who I am or what the problem may be x x x