I have never in my life identified with a picture so much. This is exactly what it feels like when I’m about to do something extremely destructive. And it’s like as the coffees being poured I can see the possible outcomes and I can see that they’re all NOT good but nothing registers in my head it simply fails to be processed. This is not an excuse for my sometimes problematic behavior but more of an attempt to explain how I function at times. Immediately after I feel very empty and a wave of guilt fills me up. I absolutely hate how I am I hate that I don’t take anyone else into account when in these situations, I fucking hate it so much. I hope this is me trying to begin to fix a huge problem of mine.