I’m bittersweet.

ClareElsaesser

I could feel my troubling demons inside me,
tingling inside my gut and rising up ’til my heart,
then to my throat.
It is sufocating me, forcing me to envision 
all the stupid things I’ve done.

“I never meant to cause you trouble
and I never meant to do you wrong.
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble
Oh, no, I never meant to do you harm.”

I don’t want to cause you what I cause to myself.
You deserve so much more.
And even though I feel that much,
and maybe you feel that much too,
But I don’t think that you see me straight.

I’m the turbulent waters of an open sea
about to swallow itself and all that’s around me,
turning into a immensity of dark turquoise waves.

However, I 
I see you there 
By my side.

So in a glance 
I forget all about that confused feelings.

I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world,
like I do about you, and
I wish you’d hold my hand when I was upset.
I wish you’d never forget the feeling we share
while we gaze into each others eyes
through our everlasting souls
’cause that’s how much I love you.

And that’s why I can’t just let go,
Even if sometimes I think that could be the best for you.
I can see so clearly that
you are my true way out of it.

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