Solitude and Why You Need it.
Solitude, an abditory to most, is that one place we can disappear into and not worry about anything.
Solitude, among many other terms, has strongly been misunderstood since the days of yore. It is indeed a state of being alone, but being alone is not necessarily the equivalent of being lonely. To be alone is to be by yourself, void of company, void of external communication and to spend time with yourself by yourself. It is when you listen to yourself, your inner voice, your thoughts- it is when you are observing and understanding yourself.
Lonely, is what you feel when you try to fit among people and in situations before you are in peace with yourself. It is commonly understood that a lonely person is one without external companions, but I believe that the loneliest person in the world is the one who hasn’t befriended himself/herself.
Don’t be afraid to be alone; don’t feel ashamed to admit that you find your abditory in solitude. Don’t go after people, don’t always seek company, don’t constantly tie yourself with the crowd in the fear of being left alone. When that fear tries to captivate you to an apparent safe-zone, tell yourself “It doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone” (from “What doesn’t kill you” song by Kelly Clarkson)
Learn to support yourself first. Man or woman, rich or poor, single or married, learn to stand on your own feet. Know yourself, love yourself, develop yourself and be comfortable being yourself. Because, a person who doesn’t even know who he is or what he stands for is as much alone among a room full of people as he is when there are none.
By the above, I do not mean to say that you should not help others or support them along with you. This is analogous to the emergency situation on an aeroplane. The flight crew instruct you to wear your oxygen mask before helping your dependants because if you help them first and suffocate to death, who will look after your dependants?
So go out there and do something by yourself. Don’t expect instructions; guide yourself. Become your own best friend and that is when you’ll realise how awesome you are and how independent you can actually be.
We all seek freedom. Freedom to do something, freedom from something, etcetera. But then, are we ready to accept and embrace it when we do get it? All right, you become ‘free’, does it make you independent? It will when you start to be with yourself more, and like my mom always says “Give freedom to your mind!”
Trust yourself, man. Make your own decisions. And remember, again, don’t be afraid to be alone!
Solitude is, after all, another home.
