My Dusty Home: A Burning Man Virgin’s Tale
5 Ways The Burner Life Casts A Spell on You
Naked hippies and dust storms. I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors.
Every year since 2008, digital reminders influence my social streams with glimpses of Burning Man, a Mars-like utopia.
Snapshots of dusty whiteouts, ear to ear smiles, glowing LED hug parades, pasty covered Zombies, Mad Max wannabes, and 2015's buggy stunt — the invasion of pestilence. For 7 years, I figured Burners had lost the plot.
Some might call it a desert freak show. It’s an Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test held in Black Rock City. 70,000 dusty insomniacs galavanting with merry pranksters atop colorful magic school buses appropriately named “Galactic Cruzader.”
It wasn’t for me. At least, I didn’t think so…
Like most naysayers, I sat back. I watched. I judged. Ignorantly, with eyes wide shut.
Each year, I justified my absence to the tune of running toilets, warm showers, craft cocktails, and air conditioned bedrooms with king-sized pillow top bedding. I was a skeptic. True and through.
But maybe I just wasn’t ready?
Because after attending my first Burn, I have no idea why I waited so long.
Whether the time is right for you— and quite honestly it may never be and that’s alright because it’s not for everyone — Burning Man will cast a spell on the most ardent naysayers.
It’s not another Coachella. This ain’t even a festival.
Whatever the hell it is, you earn your burn.
The Olympics of Parties
“Everybody must have a fantasy.”
- Andy Warhol
Let’s dispel the myths. Every damn rumor you’ve heard is true. 70,000 gather to form a community of crazy desert pirates. It’s one intense week long party. It makes Vegas feel like a high school talent show.
People pilgrimage to camp in the dust. They come to connect, vacate the default world, fornicate, expand their minds, and test their body’s limits.
You’ll put back drinks in cups hooked to carabiners with Frog Kings, Goblins, Sheriffs, Trash Men, and Evil Carrots while desert Goddesses bike past. You’ll kick it at camp with Sunshine, Laser Beams, even Mr Miyagi himself. You’ll roll across the Playa riding high on EDM blasting, fire breathing, LED art cars with crazy Germans like the Illuminator and UK crews with beasts like Black Gareth. There’s no last call for alcohol, this place barely sleeps.
The dust calls upon all walks of life. And when you answer the call, be ready to get down and dirty. No matter the Destination, if you’re one of the party boyz, you sleep after the sun rises and crawl out from under shade structures like lizards when it sets (or if you’re lucky from a London double decker bus, or air conditioned Yurt). Prepare to burn, because this is an epic party unlike anything else.
There’s thunder domes for fighting friends, and orgy domes for fighting naked.
Neon-light parades, all nighters, climbing structures and fire dancing gypsies. If you’ve got ADHD like the millions of us misdiagnosed, it’s an adult playground.
Imagine a pick your own adventure novel, because whatever you want is right there waiting for you. And when it’s all said and done, this epic party packs up and vanishes without leaving a trace.
The Assassination of Small Talk
“The only reason why we ask other people how their weekend was is so we can tell them about our own weekend.”
- Chuck Palahniuk
If you have ever been disgusted with meaningless drivel, Burning Man is a refreshing solution. You won’t waste time discussing the mundane, and if you’re open to sharing you’ll have incredibly intimate and personal conversations with total strangers. You will hug a few hundred of them. And if you visit the Temple of Promise, you may even shed a few tears together.
If I embrace one discovery, it is a new found mission to murder senseless chit-chat and break down barriers. I vow to sidestep mindless babble and try to stop spewing nonsensical crap… Immediately after I publish this post of course :)
I presume this shift in communication will have a dramatic impact on my life. When greeting people in your personal or professional routines, I challenge you to engage through a deeper line of questioning. I’ve seen first-hand how it forms a more memorable rapport out on the Playa. You emotionally invest in dialogue, care about the response, and listen attentively.
Instead of mumbling half-heartedly, “What do you do?” at a networking event, why not try “What inspired you to start a company?” Instead of “What’s happening, how’s it going?” when chatting up a bartender, why not be bold and share a story like “Wanna hear about the time I nearly died?”
It’s a subtle change, yet capable of fostering significant relationships. It’s a chance to optimize and improve the way we communicate. And quite frankly, no-one has time for useless small talk in the desert. There’s too much damn dust floating around. Make your words count :)
Interaction Over Transaction
“I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.”
- Hunter S Thompson
You physically can not buy anything at Burning Man. Except ice and coffee, which they donate to help preserve the park.
Removing the ability to transact, focuses your attention on genuine interactions with people. You listen. You respond. You accept people for what makes them tick, not how much green they have in their wallet. When you stop looking at people as an ATM, it has a defining effect on the way you welcome them into your world.
Imagine no expectations. No requirements. No IOUs. And no guilty feeling when it comes time to tip. Befriending someone on the Playa is worth its weight in gold. You form bonds that spawn new adventures. Like reserving a seat at a 5-star French Bistro. Drinking bubbly and dancing to the bass. Or cleaning yourself in foam baths. Hell, you can even take a nap on a stranger’s dusty couch.
Do whatever you like, and do it all on the whim without handing over plastic or cash. And these relationships are forged because of spontaneous interactions. Quality, magical moments where empathy and authenticity are far more valuable than compensation.
Radical Self Reliance
“To find yourself, think for yourself.”
- Socrates
Holy shit, you did it. You made the dumbest decision of your life. You’re living in the desert for a week (and some people go for much longer).
The desert feels like a place where things go to die. And this smacks you in the face like the dust storms the moment you arrive. It’s one of those “Uh-oh, did I just fuck up?” realizations. Like flipping the bird and yelling at some 250lb jackass who cuts you off only to have him pull up right next to you at the stop light. The only difference is, you quickly become aware that the desert is an obstacle you will overcome. Another way you earn your Burn.
The productive side of you is screaming to let loose. It’s the reward that comes from being self-reliant. You build your temporary home and by the end of the week you learn better ways to improve it for round 2. You cook, you clean (mostly by showering with wet wipes), and you survive. You meet new people and warmly befriend them. Before you know it, you’re making new life-long friendships bonded in the dust. They become your family. They help take care of you. And in turn you recognize that radical self reliance is about more than just you. It’s about not being a lazy shit and contributing to the community, and doing whatever it takes to strengthen your family’s ecosystem.
Gifts That Keep on Giving
“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”
- Winston Churchill
My friend Frog told me that everyone goes to Burning Man at least twice. Partly because it’s a one of a kind adventure, but also it’s the generosity that consumes the place. Once you’ve gone and experienced the magnitude of giving, you can’t help but go back to give.
Unlike hiking through forests in Yellowstone, skiing the Rockies, or backpacking through Europe — the greatest thing about Burning Man is not what you take from the experience. It’s the infinite possibilities you can give back.
To give takes love. It involves hard work, sweat, dedication, and sacrifice. That’s the recipe for a good time. That’s why it feels so damn good to give. The reward lies in other’s enjoyment. It’s the dumb wide-eyed, jaw hanging to the floor surprised expression on their face when they realize you have no preconceived expectations. And that you require nothing in return.
Burning Man is a special place partly because it compels you to do more. To do whatever it takes.
There’s something magical about that dust and it’s not just the naked hippies, creativity, booze, and Unicorns named Steven Coleman.
Back to the Default World
So What Now? Who’s Going, Who’s Not?
The answer, who cares… You’ll know what to do, when you’re ready. Which is ultimately another one of life’s important lessons.
Like a dream, Burning Man came and went. Fucking dazed & confused. I’m still sitting here pinching myself. Is this real life? Has it ended? What happens next? What even happened out there on the Playa? Where did all these beautifully insane people come from? This magical place has struck a chord within my heart. I’m hooked and I can’t wait to go back.
To everyone headed home next year, see ya in the dust.
Only 350 some odd days until the next burn.
Stop by for a dusty hug, cold cocktail, and live jam session everyday at 6pm.
You can find us at 6.15 & G. I’ll be there with my new family.
We are… Platybus & the Band.
Until Next Year… Slow down, stop biking so damn fast, and go the hell HOME.
I’m a copywriter and digital marketing consultant. But this was about my newest role: Burner Virgin. If you enjoyed this article please recommend it below and connect with me on Twitter. And if you hated it, well then fuck off. Cheers!
