ARE YOU HOLDING ON TOO TIGHT?
I like to believe that I’m pretty relaxed and flow through life well. There are ebbs and flows and twists and turns, some that thrill others that freak, but generally I’m pretty steady as she goes.
There’s one situation though where I have not flowed so well and that is when someone I am responsible for is unwell. Especially when they’re not getting better even with professional help.
Isn’t this the ultimate responsibility? When you are responsible for someone else’s well-being; when they are unable to take care of themselves, such as a dependent or, in my case, a pet.
Most recently my puppy, Noodle, was unwell and was not getting better, and the vet wasn’t sure what was making him unwell either.
Noodle is my everything. He’s my little man and my best bud. The unconditional love and happiness he brings me every day is beyond anything. Truly.
So when he is unwell and distressed it is really hard to bear. I was doing anything and everything to make him better. Which sometimes, strangely, can lead to keeping him ill.
Because I am holding on too tight.
Which I was. Although I didn’t realise that’s what was happening at the time.
And when you’re holding on too tight in one area of your life, it can play out in others areas. Which it also was.
Things were more forced, more obligatory. There was happiness but a happiness tinged with a little tension.
And it took my puppy not getting better to wake me up. To think deeper about what was happening. The medicines weren’t helping and the vet couldn’t find anything, and so I started to wonder and my thoughts started to land on some truths that had tapped on my shoulder and I’d pushed aside.
Although he’d had inflamed tonsils initially they had cleared up and so it wasn’t making any sense why he was still being a bit shaky when I left him for a while. I also noticed he was starting to avoid grates in the road and drain openings. He’d never had a problem before and now he dug his heels in.
He was acting anxious. And more anxious than normal and so it made me think.
Could my worry for him be affecting him? Was I holding on too tight?
As soon as I landed on that little truth, I knew it was exactly why he was still off.
My worry for him was creating worry in him. He was feeding off me.
What we feel affects us and those around us.
Our energy is incredibly powerful.
I know this so well. We all feed off the energy around us. Think to a time where you were talking to someone and afterwards you felt drained. Or when you were with someone and after you felt really crappy, and you realised how negative they were. Or someone who made you feel energised and alive.
We are able to control how we react to different energies around us, when we’re aware of it.
And pets are incredibly sensitive to our emotions. Think to a time when you were down and your pup would come and cuddle up next to you.
There have been many documentaries and studies about dogs and how they can smell illness in you before scans and medical tests pick them up. And when a thunder storm is on its way, they will be very happy to let you know.
They have heightened senses. And we do too, when we give ourselves the space to listen.
So I took a deep breath and listened, and once I started to relax around Noodle, so did he. And his symptoms started to clear.
Awareness is the first step to change. And once I became aware of what I was doing, I was able to change what I was doing.
I created a big shift and released that nameless tension that I had been feeling creeping up my shoulders.
All in good time. Everything comes all in good time if you let it.
If you’re tense and trying to force it, you mess with your desires coming to you because you miss the cues. Miss the hints. Miss the opportunities. Shut off from listening to yourself.
And when you shut off from yourself you will start to second guess your decisions, you’ll feel energetically low because you won’t listen to your body’s signals to rest, you’ll fold to the racing thoughts.
So next time you feel yourself holding on too tight, take that deep breath and tell yourself, all in good time.
Everything will come to you. All in good time.