I Have No Desire To Be A Businessman, And I Had To Learn That Over Time
For the past number of years the ambition has been to open my own digital and social media business/shop/agency or whatever you like to refer to it as. I thought that I wanted to open and run a small agency helping people with their social media for business.
Well I got part of that right in the end, I want to help people with their social media for business or branding, whatever they need. However I don’t want to run a social media agency. Mark Dalton Media started because I thought my dream was to run a social media agency and two and a half years down the line and several clients later I realise I kind of got it wrong.
Mark Dalton Media
I started Mark Dalton Media to give the professional agency vibe and to deliver content as leverage for clients and business. I started with a soft launch, picked up two or three clients to work with and worked with them closely to help with their online presence and social media.
Then after some time I made Mark Dalton Media public, kept working on content and with some clients and all went well. There has not been a big project failure or catastrophic issues where targets or deadlines were missed.
Instead, doing this whole process made me realise how much I didn’t want to do it at all, I’m not comfortable with the formality I feel under a cloak of Mark Dalton Media. I feel like I’m trying to sell a service which I don’t feel is truly myself and what I want to deliver.
It is hard because it took time for me to realise this and understand it fully. This realisation has been something I have been coming to over the course of recent months and not overnight. So why does it feel somewhat uncomforable to me and what do I do about that going forward? Who do I think or know I am now?
Why Mark Dalton Media feels wrong…
The formality, the agency feel…it just doesn’t feel right. It is hard to explain but I want to dump the “media” and I want to be me. I want to help people with their social media, I want to create content and I want to do it as myself.
I have no desire to build a big agency. I hustle and create content but I don’t “hustle like my name is Gary Vee” (one of his new t-shirts, much love gary 🙂) and I am proud of that because I don’t want to be a multimillionaire or a billionaire. It would be nice but I’m not craving it, that is not the goal. I don’t want to buy a sports franchise, I want to work on the balance of life and I work hard and long hours but I have understood the importance of escapism too.
I want to create great content on different platforms in multiple formats and deliver it in different ways that people can consume and enjoy. I want to create content that helps people, that’s why everything I do right now is for free unless you want me to come in and work on your business for you of course.
I’m never completely happy with what I am doing and I have understood the reason behind that only recently.
Creating all the things
A creator. It has taken a long time to even thing of referring to myself this way but I have understood now that what I am doing is documenting and creating. Be it a blog post, photography, The Gridiron Instagram posts, Instagram stories and soon to be Anchor shows!
I’m constantly exploring, updating and altering what I am doing because I want to keep creating new things and exciting things. Sometimes I create things and the only one excited about it is me, and that is okay! Going down the route I was heading was leading me to be a businessman running a business and I want to create it. I have redesigned the website multiple times because I always want to create something better (sorry to people who hate seeing updates and change all the time).
I’m not saying you can’t do both, you can be a businessman or a businesswoman and be a creator too. What I am saying is that is not what I want to be, I want to have the freedom of going and working on different projects at the drop of a hat. I want to freelance it and be rid of some of the shackles I have felt over the past year of being considered a businessperson.
Getting rid of the “media”
Some might think, whats the big deal? Getting rid of the “media” so what? It is a big deal to me though and I am excited for it.
I’m going back to creating and focusing on what I love to do as a freelancer in a booming industry taking on the work I want to take on and deciding who I want to work with. To me that is cool and that is a big thing, of course it means change again but I have always pointed out I am in a constant state of change until I get it right and until I am happy with it.
Maybe this will be the change that makes me happy and feeling whole, maybe not.
I have spoke about this in the past, I have said that I have been discovering who I am over the past number of years. A journey that really started after my brother died a few years ago.
I know now better than I ever did before, maybe not entirely but a much better grasp of who I am and what I am about. I’m not going to go super complex with this but on the surface…
I’m not a businessman, I’m not an entrepreneur, I’m not looking to be a hustler at 100mph for 18 hours of the day, I’m not always as empathetic as people expect and I’m not always 100% happy to say what is on my mind so choose not to (though that is nearly all of us to be honest)
I’m a creator, documenter and a photographer and I have a vision for where I want to be, I’m just working out the path to get there. I’m not always content with what I’m doing and I am pretty restless both in professional and personal life in different ways.
This is the surface, there is all kinds of layers of complexity to this but I’m not going to get into it purely because it will be too hard to articulate in writing and its personal too. As long as I know, that is the important thing.
Change for the sake of change?
Nope, and that has never been the case. It has always been change as a necessity be it because I feel the need on a professional or personal front. It continues to be change as a necessity and there will be plenty of change over the summer months. I’m not going to outline the changes instead I’m just going to sit back and let them happen and allow people to watch. However the days of trying to be that agency businessman are over.