I Cut These 5 Expenses From My Wedding, and So Should You!

My husband and I were supposed to get married this July, and then COVID happened. Like a lot of others, we decided to get legally married right away and have the wedding later. So one chilly morning we sat in a hammock, coffee in hand and my best friend married us after a ten minute ordination online and lots of laughs at her informal speech.

Now, here’s the thing: we realized after a little while that a lot of the big plans we had canceled for our first wedding weren’t that important to us. We were so excited about our union and bringing our families together to share that moment with us that we mistook having a great party for having an expensive one.

Our wedding next October is going to cost us five thousand dollars less, and to be honest? We’re not going to miss a single one of the extravagances we cut. We have already done the most important part — made our promises to each other — and the rest is going to be a bonus.

So, without further adieu, here are the five things we are NOT doing for our wedding, and neither should you!

1. Inviting People we Don’t Love

We’re very lucky to have a family restaurant and a sister who is going to cater for us, so dinner costs are low, but the first time around, we were going to pay $110 per person! On top of that, most venues will charge different rates by head count!

So we decided to employ this method: Imagine yourself at the altar. You’re standing together, hand-in-hand and looking out at your guests before sharing your vows. You lock eyes with that person. If you’re not thinking “I’m so glad you’re here! This moment wouldn’t be complete without you!” Don’t invite them. It’s not harsh. It’s nothing personal. Just send out an announcement afterward if you feel you absolutely have to include your second cousin somehow.

We saved money on the food and drink cost, and paid WAY less for the venue with our 75 person guest list than we were going to for the list of 110 we had before.

2. Disposables

Disposable cameras at each table, party favors, crazy flower arrangements, complicated invitations, and extravagant table and wall decorations are out the window.

Instead, we’re going to put a QR code to a google drive and an instagram hashtag in a cute little frame. We’ll ask everyone to share all of their pictures there for the rest of us to go through and admire.

Most party favors get left behind or thrown away. Even if they’re just the cutest thing ever or have a witty rhyme on them, people are not going to remember your party favors unless they’re something personal or extravagant. Skip it!

Instead of crazy flower arrangements as deco around the venue, we’re getting a bunch of baby’s breath, greenery, and making craft paper fans and flowers (look these up on Pinterest, done right they’ll give you a super classy boho look for CHEAP!)

We sent out a recycled paper card-stock save-the-date a year ahead of time since our wedding is a destination for most guests. They were simple — the time and place, photos of us, and a QR code to the Wix website I built for free. On our website they can find our dress code, lodging, and my favorite part: RSVP and make their menu selections! It’s saving us the extra paper, postage, and printing costs of sending a “formal” invite when the date gets closer.

3. An Open Bar

IT’S STILL A PARTY WITHOUT LIQUOR! I REPEAT, IT’S STILL A PARTY!!! We’re going to have beer and wine at the reception, but liquor at an open bar just encourages people to get out of hand, drive when they shouldn’t, and costs an arm and leg.

Instead, we’re throwing an after-party at a bar near the blocked hotel where everyone can continue the celebration into the wee hours, and buy their own drinks!

4. A Wedding Planner

Here’s another place we got lucky — we had a bunch of people offer to help with this. My husband’s two oldest sisters, a family friend, and two of my aunts are helping us plan out the details and keeping everything on track the day-of.

Part of why we were able to do this is because we booked our venue more than a year ahead of time and we are able to take our time planning all of the details. If you don’t have people you 100% trust to do that, without a doubt, hire someone for the day-of. Whatever takes the stress off is the most important thing.

The day is about you and your spouse-to-be! As far as entertaining your guests, you’re feeding them and giving them a dance floor. That’s truly all you need to provide for them to make it a great time, so don’t sweat the little details you might be thinking have to be timed and executed just right to impress people.

5. Abandoning the Idea that Ours has to be the Best Wedding Anyone has Ever Been to.

This. You wouldn’t believe how much of your budget you’ll start chipping away at if you’re trying to outdo every other wedding you’ve been to. This alone has been the catalyst for all of the other budget cuts we’ve made and we’re so glad we did!

Your wedding day is for you! It should be the best wedding you have ever been to, and it will if you have the right attitude.

We sat down and discussed what we had to have to be happy. We needed great food, great music, an elegant ceremony, our families, and an after party to keep the antics going. We want a beautiful day, not an aesthetically pleasing display of means or planning power.

Our wedding is going to be the best party of our lives. And everyone who is there to share the joy with us isn’t going to care about anything but that.

The Big-Ticket Items we Kept

First, we wanted a forest venue. It was an absolute no-compromise requirement, because there is nowhere in the world we love being better than beneath the trees. We splurged a little on the most beautiful spot outside of Portland, Oregon because a beautiful venue sets the ambiance for the whole ordeal, saving you time and effort to make a less desirable setting work.

Second was my dress. Funny enough, my first dress was only a couple hundred dollars, but I ended up hating it after a while. I’d bought it at a steal, but it wasn’t the one. So I sold it and held out for my dream dress. The one I found was much more expensive, but with the other budget cuts, it was well within our means, and I know I am going to feel absolutely perfect in it!

Third was a seated dinner. To be honest, this one is totally frivolous, but I just love, love, love the idea of our guests being waited on and mingling with each other instead of standing in line for another helping of prime rib.

Last was photography. Please, whatever you do, don’t skimp on this. The posed newlywed photos at sunset are lovely keepsakes, but those gorgeous shots you’ll get with your family hugging in on you from all sides, the midnight dance-off, and of your Nana shedding tears of happiness are absolutely worth paying extra for. A cheaper photographer will take pictures, but the right photographer will hand you a finished product with the perfect moments captured in just the style you love and want to show off.

Those are the ones that will go up on our walls.