Why a relationship that completes you is unstable.
Golden relationship advise to find the one.
Can’t celebrate your partners success? Scared that someone will leave you?
I am not going to write a long article to come to the key of it. Its purely in giving, and not expecting. It sounds that easy, and it can also be that easy.
Let me explain. Where do I start. So there are many fucked up people in the world, right, people holding a lot memories and frustration, having certain missing parts that need to be filled by outside impulses. If you have something missing inside of you, and your loved one needs to fill that up to make you complete, (Or the other way around) you have created the basis of an unstable relationship. Here is why.
A relationship filling up a missing part inside of you or you are filling up a missing part inside your partner means that temporarily you will feel very nice, and complete. But in the long-run its going to come back and screw you over. One day, along comes a new job for your partner, a really awesome job at a new top notch consulting firm. You are happy for her, but somehow you have a strange feeling about it. You can’t describe the feeling yet. Then she starts her job. Her colleagues start giving her a lot of attention and a lot of appraisal for what she does, and that part you were filling before, is now being filled by others. You feel that you are losing control. You are still dependent of her, while she isn’t of you. She doesn’t reply to your texts like before, and doesn’t tell you how much she loves you before you go to bed. All because your relationship was based on the foundation of filling up a missing part to be complete.
You can’t enjoy her success any more, and you try and hold her back from reaching more success, because you know success is what will make you lose her. You become angry and frustrated that she doesn’t give you love back. On the other end, she is feeling tied down, and feels that she can no longer do the things she wanted to do, with you by her side. So she breaks up with you.
This is the reason filling a missing part is not the key to a stable relationship. If you both work on yourself enough, independently, to not need a relationship to fill up a missing part. And only to step into a relationship when you don’t need it to complete you, but only as an addition in your life. When you and your partner can purely be an addition to each others lives, at that point you will be able to celebrate each others success. Suddenly her success becomes your success. Suddenly you dare to be completely vulnerable to her, because giving her more certainty of your love, makes her stronger, which makes your relationship stronger. This is the moment that you can unconditionally give to her. This is the moment that you don’t need or expect anything. Because you know that what ever you do to each other, you do to the collective of your relationship. You don’t expect anything, you only give. And from unconditional giving, comes beautiful surprises. Comes deeper loves that you have never felt before.
So if you find yourself deeply stuck in a relationship based on making each other complete. Some possible steps 1)work on yourself 2)let her work on her self 3)build a relationship on giving, not getting. I wish you all the most beauty in building a relationship on giving, a relationship on making the other happy.
What do you think? I would love to hear your thoughts.
Thank you for reading,
The Subjective Truth. Send me an email at — firstname.lastname@example.org