Reflection. My life with Crohns.

I’m not so great at expressing certain emotions, especially the ones I attempt to run from the most — the ones I’ve experienced once before
that I do not wish to go through again; The feelings dwelling in the past,
sifting through bad memories.

To be perfectly clear, I been through a lot of hell & within the greater scope of the world, what I been through is very likely not as bad or as worse than others have been dealt with.

What I’ve experienced, weighted on excruciating internal physical pain — enough that would test any individual mind.

This pain I speak of, is in correlation & caused by Crohn’s disease:

Crohn’s disease is an inflammatory bowel disease (IBD). It causes inflammation of the lining of your digestive tract, which can lead to abdominal pain, severe diarrhea, fatigue, weight loss and malnutrition.

An incurable disease that has caused me a great deal of grief, pain & suffering — Something I do not ill wish upon others.

To introduce greater context, I’ve been a Crohns patient since the age of Ten. The disease-like symptoms prior to being diagnosed, began shortly 2 weeks following after my Tenth birthday — for which at the time, my folks thought I was just experiencing a terrible stomach ache before being diagnosed.

Each night, repeatable as the last, was met with [as I would describe it…] smoldering hot knives piercing at the sides of my guts — leaving me in the
fetal position, grabbing hold of something in attempt to make it less powerful.

This went on til I was rushed into Emergency after my parents realized it had to be something far worse than just a stomach ache.

It took less than a week after series of tests at B.C Children’s hospital to 
discover I been suffering from Crohn’s disease, to then I became diagnosed with it — thankfully it did not take long for find out, as I’ve heard stories of others being misdiagnosed numerous times, that sometimes took years til
they were properly diagnosed.

Upon being diagnosed, I was prescribed with a anti-inflammatory medication known as Prednisone, a drug that I reluctantly recommend — as it is primarily alright taking in a short period, not long term.

Not long after it shown it did not help, last resort was surgery…
Being scared at the time, as any child would be, I had my fears
of what the surgery would entail — in the end of it, I lost 12 
centimeters of intestines (to which the most of the inflammation were in)
and given a temporary Colostomy bag that required me to using them
for six years.

In the span of the first three years, I had many embarrassing moments, 
many of them while participating in school… memories I do not wish
to remember.

The remainder of the last three years, I learned to keep proper attention.

Luckily, I was granted the chance at a reversal surgery, to which would
remove my need & reliance of Colostomy bags, to having my intestines
reconnected — I was filled with joy, to live to what I would refer having 
a “normal life”.

But it wasn’t a smooth recovery after the surgery! I still dealt with complications, to which not even enema medication would help.

Thankfully I was given the opportunity to try out a new treatment
then, called Remicade — 20 minutes of I.V, 4–6hrs of constant bloodwork,
to which the next day I felt 120% better! Ready to leave to go back home.

Back to wearing Jeans again felt like heaven to me, I despised wearing 
Sweats [And yes, even going commando…] each day.

Two following treatments after the initial one, allowed me to once live a 
less painful life for 9 years.

Unfortunately, Crohn’s disease being chronically inflammatory, I was greeted
with the similar pains I once dealt with prior to being diagnosed.

During the time I chose to get myself to help lose weight on my own, achieving losing nearly 20 pounds simply by drinking more water & cutting out sugar, unknowingly it was then I began feeling those uncomfortable pains.

Going from 243lbs to only 196lbs in the span of two months was an eye-opener.

But then, another chance came my way when I was told about Humira.
A treatment that was roughly new to the market that served as an
anti-inflammatory self-injecting autopen medication.

From taking one shot per every other Tuesday, to taking it every Tuesday. It’s
effectiveness dwindled, only helping me suffer less of the diseases’s strain
in my body.

Two years of taking Humira went by, & shortly after a road trip with my father
& his new companion; I urged to be brought into emergency once again, eventually bringing me to be a patient at St.Pauls Hospital in Downtown Vancouver.

And despite the condition I was in, didn’t stop me from flirting with the cute Asian nurses (chuckles).

I remained a patient at St.Pauls for nearly a month & a half after all the days spent on hydro-morphone, ativan and of course the essential vitamins & minerals my body once was almost depleted of, came surgery time (gratefully the NHL playoff’s was going on at the time I was there!) [Memo-to-self & others: DO NOT WATCH THE FOOD CHANNEL, unless you’re a masochist].

The only thing that came to my mind afraid of was being left with another need using a bag — and indeed of course I was given the disappointing news.

After having a good portion of my large colon taken out,
I was left & currently have an temporary Ostomy bag.

Coming out of the hospital three years ago last June, I weighed at 132lbs.
Now to put that in perspective how gravely I looked then, I’m 6ft’2 in height.

I currently weigh as of now, roughly 205lbs & looking relatively healthy.