Is Your Relationship Healthy Or Damaging?
I recently witnessed an argument that I have never heard before in my life! I live on a pretty quiet street, so when two men started arguing outside, several people, myself included, were peeking out of their windows, trying to figure out what was going on. For the sake of the story, we’ll call them Guy #1 and Guy #2. Guy #1, who was walking with his wife, witnessed Guy #2 yelling at a woman and calling her names, and I guess he looked as if he was going to physical hurt her as well. So, #1 took it upon himself to confront #2 and defend the woman.
#1 went on and on about how #2 was wrong for speaking to a woman that way, and he very strongly suggested that the guy change his behavior. #1 added that from where he was standing, #2 looked as if he were talking to a stranger, after he learned that the guy was actually in a relationship with the woman he was abusing just minutes before. #2, probably angered by being called out, got extremely aggressive, and acted as if he was going to fight #1. But #1 shut that down quickly, by telling #2 that he would never fight his brother. That exchange left me with a flood of thoughts…this post being one of them.
As the guys were engaged in their heated exchange, and I finally gathered what was happening, I couldn’t help but turn my attention to the women who were with them. The wife was clearly on edge, quietly begging her husband to let it go and to walk away. The girlfriend, however, was silent. She picked up her guy’s coat and bag, as he sat them down in preparation to fight. I wondered if she was used to his behavior and was dreading the fact that the other guy had come to her defense. Would she have to pay for his words later, behind closed doors? I wondered.
If #2 was talking to her the way that #1 had said, calling her names and yelling in her face, she couldn’t possibly know her worth. Do you know yours? I’ll tell you now that if your significant other jumps up in your face and calls you derogatory names, you are in an unhealthy relationship. Women are naturally smaller than men, and when we spend time alone with them, we are trusting them to keep us safe and to never harm us. Strong-arming women and being aggressive is not how men should behave.
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