Survive Cabarete

A survival guide for Cabarete and the Dominican Republic

Some notes from living in Cabarete for 8 years, and travelling the world for 20.

There is an actual real-life Cabarete story behind every single one of these pieces of advice. I or someone I personally know, had an unpleasant experience, which might have been avoided by following this advice. My motivation is to help visitors to Cabarete have a pleasant experience.

I want to thank Samantha Lynn, Oliver Dadswell, David Boyko and Jade Adelle for their kind support and encouragement in writing this document. David and Jade, especially, for their excellent advice on how to promote and distribute my writing on the internet — thanks to them that we are at over 1000 views in the space of a few months.

Many people, especially those involved in the tourism business, have been deeply hostile, and without Sam, Oliver, David and Jade’s moral support and encouragement, I might have buckled to their rabid hatred. Jade’s sadly pornographic story of being forced at gunpoint to have sex with her boyfriend around dusk on a secluded beach, was a key part of the motivation for writing this.

I don't make any claims as to the likelihood of needing this advice, only that this advice might save you loss of money, dignity, or life.

All of this advice is applicable to travelers anywhere, not just Cabarete.

Cabarete has many attractions, but Cabarete is also a sex-tourism destination (though less so than Sosua, the next town along the cost). This is a simple fact which infects every aspect of Cabarete life. Do not forget this.

1. The good wage for a local is about 500 pesos a day, about USD12. There are many that earn less, and plenty that earn nothing at all.
2. As you travel around the DR, notice that every window has bars on it. There is a very good reason for this. The DR is considered one of the top 10 most dangerous and criminal places in the world.
3. If you go out on Cabarete nightlife and into crowds, make sure everything of value is tied to you with string. Wallet, Keys, Phone. Most of the hookers are also pickpockets, and some of them are really good. This especially applies to Semana Santa, the Easter festival, when gangs of pickpockets come into town to work the inflated crowds.
4. Do Not take your credit card or ID with you when you go out. All you need is some cash. Take a photocopy of your ID if you have to.
5. Do Not wear jewelry when you go out, in a crowd it can be ripped off your body without you even noticing.
6. If you are walking home and a local chick approaches you, wanting to get close, hold a lit cigarette between you and her so she keeps her distance. If she is touching you, you are likely being pickpocked. Do Not let strangers get close enough to touch you. A normal person will respect a verbal or non-verbal warning, a pushy person will push past your warnings; these are the dangerous ones.
7. Do Not leave your brand new iPhone on the table. This is worth several month’s wages for a local, and someone will be tempted to take it.
8. If a local girl is coming onto you, its probably not because you are especially charming or handsome, but rather because you have money. There are many prostitutes in Cabarete, both professional and amateur. By some estimates 90+% of the local girls in the nightclub areas are hookers. You should negotiate the price up-front rather than having some exorbitant figure demanded of you as she leaves. As of September 2014, the going rate is around 1000–3000 pesos, depending on the girl. These women can and will rob you, you should check their bags as they leave (no matter how well paid or treated they are, they seem to take pride in taking something extra)— they will take anything that isn't nailed down, especially prized are vitamins and consumer electronics. Your best protection is to take a photo of their ID card (called a Cedula) and email it to yourself (this is important so you don't lose the photo if they take your phone/camera/laptop). Make sure they know what you have done with the photo. Better yet, put their ID cards in the safe and don't give them back until you are satisfied everything is in order.
9. Female sex tourism is a real phenomenon. 60% of tourist arrivals in the DR are women, many of whom are looking for a holiday romance. As a man, I cant speak much about this experience, but I have heard some stories. Ladies, the Dominican men are extremely beautiful, and some of them have that delightful combination of psychopathy, narcissism, and machiavellianism that is like crack cocaine to women. The for-profit romeos are called Sanky Pankys, and female sex tourism is paid for in deniable and discrete ways — a sick mother, police fines need to be paid, a loan to have something fixed etc. Be careful if you are older, wealthier and have low self-esteem: you are the perfect target. There is a great film on this subject called “Heading South” starring Charlotte Rampling; its about female sex tourism in Haiti in the 60s. Its well worth a watch before having a holiday romance with a local.
10. This can be a violent place. If dealing with angry or hostile people, keep your distance, and don't take your eyes off them (being distracted, even for a moment, can invite sucker punches — the person you are dealing with may just be looking for an opening, don't give it to them). Keep your hands in front of you, at a level between your belly button and your rib-cage, fingers touching or overlapped, with the backs of your hands facing outwards. This is a non-aggressive hands-ready stance from which you can easily spring into action (e.g. by raising your hands as if to brush your hair back). The traditional advice on de-escalation is to put your hands up, palms out; but, an open palm can potentially connect with childhood memories of being spanked or slapped, while the “surrender” subtext can prompt certain mentalities to be more aggressive.
11. Dominican women have special protections under the law when it comes to violence, and they know it. Most of the women in Cabarete are rough as guts; think hood rats and crack whores. If you are forced to fight one (even if they are the instigator), then from a legal perspective, its better not to leave any marks. A punch in the tit is the female equivalent of a kick in the balls, it is excruciatingly painful and leaves no marks or lasting injury. See here for a more in-depth article on how best to deal with violent women https://medium.com/@aPackOfVVankers/post-feminist-self-defence-dbfd4fc4430d
12. Stay away from isolated beaches at night. You are better off paying 50 pesos to a moto concho (motorcycle taxi) who will take you where you want to go. If you are walking home along the beach late at night, walk by the waters edge — that way, you only have to keep an eye out on one side, and many locals cant swim, so you might escape by swimming away if you have to.
13. Moto conchos (motorcycle taxis) can be your friends. Each pickup spot is run by a different gang. Pick one gang and give them your loyalty. They will give you theirs. These guys look rough, but they are professional drivers and will drive you around far more safely than you can drive yourself. If they are driving too fast, say Slowly “lento” or If you kill me I wont pay you “Si tu me mata, yo no te pago”.
14. As of September 2014, the price for a motorcycle taxi is 25 pesos in daylight, 50 pesos after dark. This is per journey and per passenger. If you stop at a shop along the way, it will count as two journeys. Long journeys (more than 5 minutes or) will cost more. Its best to have exact change. If you don't have exact change, pay in advance so that the driver cant say they have no change when you arrive.
15. Do Not give your actual drivers license to a policeman. They know exactly how much it will cost to replace, and can hold it to ransom. Always give them a photocopy.
16. Do Not give anyone your passport. Ever. Think about how much time and money and inconvenience would be involved in replacing it. Having a high quality photo of your passport will go a long way to helping you replace it if it gets lost/stolen. Some car rental places will insist on holding your passport. Find one that doesn't.
17. Just Say no to drugs. The Dominican government sent out agents to make street buys around the country, then tested what they bought. They found that the purity of street drugs was in the 3–5% range (versus the 20–30% you will commonly find in your home country) as well as being cut with things like crystal meth and/or whatever cheap white power the dealer can find. You will have more fun drinking redbull. If you are going to do drugs anyway, avoid herpes and hepatitis and other nasties: don't share tubes, and make sure you don't snort anything that might have fallen out of someone else’s nose.
18. You Do Not have to be polite. Your compulsion to politeness can be used against you; it is often seen as a weakness. If you try to reply nicely to every street hustler or beach vendor, you will lose your voice and your mind. Just shoo them away like flies. For anyone who is persistent, say Go Away! “Vete”, or Dont Talk to Me! “No me hablan”, or Drop It! “Suelta eso”. If you say No Thank You “No Gracias”, you are signaling that you are a naive tourist in need of special attention.
19. When eating at a restaurant, if the front of the restaurant is open to the street, and you sit at the front, you will be targeted by every beggar and street vendor that walks by. The same goes for restaurants with tables on the beach. However nice it is to sit in the open air, if you don't want to be harassed by every beach vendor and mariachi band that walks by, better to sit inside.
20. If you're staying in an all-inclusive and you go out at night, don't wear your wrist band — it just marks you as a naive tourist and you will get special attention from the vendors, hustlers and whores.
21. Muffler burns, aka Dominican Tattoos, are extremely common. The mufflers are on the right. Put your left foot on the ground and swing your right leg off the bike. I used fresh aloe plant to treat my burn, but be careful, aloe stains everything green.
22. If you're riding a motorbike, plan to fall off at some point. Wear jeans and shoes and stuff that will protect your body. Don’t go faster than you are willing to fall off or crash at (about 30kmh or 20mph)— you are on vacation, no need to hurry. Wear your helmet.
23. If you are driving and run over a dog or other animal, keep going. If you stop, some local will claim the animal is theirs and demand compensation. Its better to avoid such confrontations.
24. Do Not drive at night. Ever. Plan your drive to avoid this. Stop and stay at a hotel if you must. If you drive at night, you might just run into a bike rider using his mobile phone a a headlight. Headlights are expensive to replace when they fail.
25. Do Not lend money to locals. Unless you are willing to torture or kill their families, you will never see your money again. Even if they come into money they could use to repay you, you will be the last thing on their list of priorities. All they have to do is avoid you until you leave.
26. Do not discuss your finances with anyone. People have been murdered for USD20,000 and less. Its best to leave it a complete mystery. This applies to locals and gringos alike.
27. The legal system here will probably not serve you. The name of the game for everyone involved (police, judges, lawyers) is to liberate money from foreigners. Do everything you can to avoid engaging with the legal system.
28. If you are being quoted prices in US dollars, you are likely dealing with someone who specialises in liberating cash from naive tourists. Do your business elsewhere.
29. The best way to negotiate is an impromptu Dutch auction. Name your price, about 1/4 to 1/2 of their asking price, and then lower it every 10 seconds until they accept or refuse. This is best done with a partner who is pulling you away, increasing the time pressure on the vendor. You can always find someone else selling exactly the same thing.
30. If you are talking to a chick and she says she has a boyfriend, the best response is “I have one too, but he thinks I am gay”. Note well: item 9.

A surprisingly large number of people have taken objection to this advice as an insult to Dominicans or bad press for Cabarete. I say to those people: This advice reflects reality— while writing this advice, I consulted with local police, security guards, and various locals and residents, all in an effort to ensure the honesty and integrity of the document. If you don't like it, your problem is with reality, not with me.

If you are upset by this article, you can register a complaint about it here: http://goo.gl/bDUsuT