Strap the fuck in because I’m about to drown your fledgling relationship in a deluge of mucus and sexual tension.

It’s still pretty new, huh? About three months, right? You haven’t had the “is this a relationship” discussion, but don’t worry, you’re the one he’s going to call when his dehydration-induced hallucinations convince him to man up and go to the emergency room — something you couldn’t persuade him to do a week earlier. It’s not you, it’s me. I’m Mononucleosis, and I’m powerful enough to crumble the sturdiest walls of irrational, testosterone-fueled pride.

I’ll drag you two into the…

Forgive me, Lord.

The key to a perfect sandwich is heat — whether traditionally toasted, browned in a pan with a pat of butter, or compacted with a panini press. Any method used to crisp up the bread and melt the cheese elevates the sandwich from plain to gourmet in a matter of minutes.

One seemingly insignificant Tuesday, after nine hours of class, I decided to round out my day with a warm sandwich. From the fridge I carefully selected my materials: creamy pesto, a plump tomato, tender spinach, and a thick slice of mozzarella. I built my sandwich on…

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This year’s Champagne Jam, the annual Webster Hall takeover curated by the Front Bottoms, is set feature the best of the local indie music scene on December 18th.

Alongside the Front Bottoms, the Grand Ballroom will host garage rock “DIY” band the Screaming Females and electro-rock duo Brick + Mortar. Other special guests will take the two smaller stages and offer fans a sample of the sound surrounding the Hudson.

Events like this are a balancing act — below, check out some bands you may not have heard of and start prioritizing your must-see list.

Tickets available here

Diet Cig

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It’s 2016 and it’s cool to talk about vinyl again — despite the fact we’re nearly two decades into the digital millennium.

According to Nielsen’s 2014 end of year trend report, vinyl sales in the US have grown 260 percent since 2009 while CD sales dropped 17 percent.

The sale of vinyl records, or LPs, peaked in 1981 at 1.1 billion according to the International Federation of the Phonographic Industry. LP sales rapidly fell when cassette tapes and CDs were introduced in the 1980s and 1990s.

By 2006, vinyl sales bottomed out at just three million as people turned increasingly…

They’re not crazy, they just love One Direction

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“The whole reason I actually got braces was ’cause Niall had braces,” said Natasha, flashing the camera a smile. “Like, I didn’t really need braces. I just wanted them for a fashion icon. And especially because Niall had them.”

Natasha, 17, is one of the diehard One Direction fans — Directioners, they proudly call themselves — profiled in Daisy Asquith’s film Crazy About One Direction. Asquith’s documentary follows not the British/Irish boy band themselves, but their fans — the first One Direction-related film to do so.

The fandom consists primarily of an…

“None of us are from the food business,” laughed Josh Sharon, the twentysomething co-owner of the Manhattan-based Shuka truck.

Sharon and his partners Solomon Taraboulsi and Gabriel Israel started their truck’s engine in 2014 and have been churning out gourmet variations of shakshuka since. The traditional Israeli dish, eggs poached in a spiced tomato sauce, was a household staple for the trio who grew up in traditional Jewish families. Their take on it uses organic vegetables, kosher eggs, and a hit of cumin.

For the Shuka crew, the food is the easy part — chef Israel customized the truck to…

“More butter!” Maria shouted from her station on the stove. “And beat it until it’s gleaming white. That’s what makes it light and fluffy.”

I nodded, gripped my whisk, and beat the butter with a silent fury. An hour later, after the kourabiethes cooled, I dusted them with powdered sugar.

“Good,” Marion told me as she peered over my right shoulder at the industrial sized sheet trays full of cookies.

Then Mary came from the left and swiftly snatched the sieve from my hand and coated each cookie with another layer of powdered sugar. …

Alexandra Delyanis

Award-winning and losing journalist | Freelance audio producer | Writer |

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