Isolated Immersion
Should you bother with the linguistic bubble if assimilation is going to pop it eventually?
Even though I live in America, I often find myself listening to Persian radio, reading Persian news, and watching Persian movies in an attempt to keep that part of my identity “alive.” I think this is sensible enough; you’re living in one world but are constantly keeping yourself exposed to another. This seems more sensible to me than the “isolated immersion” style of parenting that some immigrant parents adopt.
These are parents who, despite their ability to speak English, insist that their children be raised exclusively with their mother tongue. But if they’re being raised in another country—a country that is eventually going to deny them the opportunity to express themselves in their parents’ mother tongue—then what’s the point?
I think there is merit in speaking a second language at home, if only for the manifold benefits of bilingualism that study after study has been recently uncovering. What I don’t think is a good idea is shutting your child out from the world around them and isolating them in a world unto themselves—a false world that will eventually come crumbling down on their first day of school. Nobody wants to be the kid that nobody plays with because she can’t understand anyone else or be understood by others. That’s traumatic.
Children will have varying degrees of interest in language and in retaining their cultural identity. I have Iranian-American friends of all stripes. Some of them can’t speak more than a few words of Persian and they don’t even identify with being Iranian. Almost none of them knows how to read or write it. “Being Iranian” is just not something that ever really captivated their interest.
After these children have started going to school for a few years, English will naturally start to become more comfortable for them. Persian, which would only be spoken in the home, starts to take a backseat. Many parents will speak to their children in Persian only to have them respond in English. This is a phenomenon that can be found across all cultures. At this point, your child’s interest in your mother tongue may well be out of your hands. All the reading sessions and dictation exercises (mainly if you’re dealing with a non-Latin alphabet) in the world won’t save them—unless the child themselves has a genuine interest to pursue further study of the language.
I remember my parents used to do that stuff with me throughout my childhood. I think we stopped when I was around 12, most likely because I lost interest. I didn’t regain that interest in Persian until I was almost 20. For some, it may happen earlier than that. Possibly later. Maybe never.
Anyway, my point is that it’s silly to think you can shape a child a certain way IF:
- The world in which he or she lives is inevitably going to destroy your hard work
- The child themselves doesn’t want to be molded that way
This goes far beyond language and cultural identity into things like hobbies, sports, and playing an instrument.
I will close with a short note to parents everywhere.
You are not gods.
You cannot sculpt your child into whatever you like.
He or she will have his or her own interests, some of which may be totally alien to you or stand in stark contrast to the things you love. If your child simply doesn’t like something, there’s nothing you can do about that.
Furthermore, your child does not live in a vacuum.
They will go out into the world someday, and it’s going to affect them -- perhaps even undermine some of what you’ve tried to instill in them. Instead of turning a blind eye to that, you should prepare accordingly.
