Part 2: 阿婆婆

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Above, I’ve attached a voice recording of my dad essentially detailing the story of my grandmother and his experiences during the Cultural Revolution. I hope you enjoy listening.

阿婆婆 (pronounced abubu) is Shanghainese for grandmother. Her name was Hannah Pan.

I never was able to meet her, but she remains one of my greatest inspirations to this day. Her story is one I believe the world should know.

Born into an aristocratic, Shanghainese-Fujianese family of tea merchants, my grandmother and her four siblings grew up with relative privilege. Despite all this, she remained steadfast in her moral values and sought to spread love and kindness wherever she went. She attended an international school where she excelled in English and fell in love with music, specifically the piano and singing. After attending St. John’s University in Shanghai where she studied literature, she was called to Beijing where her work as a translator allowed her to meet my grandfather, Jeremy Huang.

My grandfather, Jeremy Huang, came from an equally impressionable family in Beijing, China. He was an avid swimmer, gymnast, and hunter and studied economics.

During the Cultural Revolution of China, Chairman Mao came into power and sought to eradicate anything or anyone related to the “capitalistic class” or in Marxist terminology, the bourgeoisie. Western intellectualism and artifacts were viewed as treasonous during the revolution. My father recalls going to school every morning and reciting Mao’s Little Red Book, pledging his allegiance to the State.

David Huang, my father, is located in the bottom left corner. Here, he pledges his allegiance to the Chinese State as he places Mao’s Little Red Book over his heart.

My father’s family was punished viciously. The Red Guards stormed into his house in the middle of the night, plundering my grandmother’s jewelry, including her wedding ring, destroying art, stealing their bedframes, burning photographs, and even smashing their piano. Due to her family status along with her occupation as an English professor, my grandmother was sent to work in the fields to be “re-educated” and punished for her background.

In 1968, my grandfather was under investigation for his familial ties to the Nationalist party (the former ruling party of China and enemies of the CCP). One evening, a few days before he was due to make his court appearance, my grandfather told the family he would be going to the grocery store and never returned home. His body was never found.

My father was 10 years old. My grandmother was widowed.

Navigating the Revolution with two, rowdy boys as a single woman was undoubtedly one of the most difficult moments of her life. My father recalls nights where my grandmother would cry herself to sleep and illegally listen to Beethoven and Mozart, pressing the small radio against her ear and praying that the neighbors wouldn’t report them. She faced unbearable humiliation and pain, yet still managed to stay devout to God, loving to those around her, and forever loyal to my grandfather (she never remarried).

My grandmother is the prime example of all that inspired me to become who I am today. Her class and value for education have pushed me to take charge of my own education and pursue my goals relentlessly. Her love for music was infectious and brought me to take piano lessons and sing competitively for many years. Lastly, my grandmother’s unwavering strength in the darkest shows me that despite the difficulties of life, I am capable of getting through it.

On the left is my grandmother, Hannah Pan. To the right of her is her older sister, Eva Pan. In this photo, they are in Switzerland, one of my grandmother’s favorite countries to visit.

Every action and goal I set for myself is also dedicated to Hannah Pan, the woman who inspires me the most.

Part 3: Drowning