I can definitely identify with this. The feeling of wanting so much to reach out to something big but at the same time not wanting to do anything at all. The inner conflict in itself can be absolutely exhausting. The more I do nothing, the more I want to do something important. The more I want to do something important, the more complacent I become. In my time of inactivity my ideas get bigger and bigger but without taking action to bring them into reality I become overwhelmed with feelings of powerlessness.
I am learning to give myself permission for the days that I just want to lay in bed and think. They are productive in their own respect. Periods of introspection are crucial to development. Introspection must be followed by action to bear fruit.