“I Quit…” 🖕
Why I left my Head of Design position to pursue a life of freelance, family and mental health.
In 2012 I joined an exciting and passionate group of people on a mission; to liberate ourselves from our arduous day jobs, to build some incredible things and make some money along the way.
But if there’s one takeaway from this article and if you’re short on time, let it be this…
Life is too short to be helping someone else fulfill their own dreams and aspirations. Nothing will compare to the feeling of self-gratification and purpose by contributing to your own thing.
Honourable Beginnings 👾
Mario, Nerf gun wars & FIFA…
The studio walls were plastered with Mario murals and homages to 80’s games such as Pong and Space Invaders.
The place was abundant with Nerf guns, badly built Ikea furniture and misguided quad-copters crashed spectacularly, often into people and cherished possessions (*ahem* Greg Lukosek).
It was literally like walking into a bedroom of an unruly child.
But it had a certain charm and magnetic culture I liked. The laid-back, disruptive vibe attracted other people too.
Playing FIFA was our ‘go to’ lunch time filler and hiding behind desk chairs became a regular occurrence in the office… you see, avoiding getting hit with foam bullets had to be a priority if you wanted to survive the daily onslaught!
Inevitably, someone got shot in the eye…
We laughed. We cried. Literally, some people cried.
I loved my job, I loved the company and most of all, I loved the people in it.
The culture was spot on... regular visits to restaurants, nights out and other extracurricular activities such as badly orchestrated football on a Friday bought us together as a unit.
We blurred the conventional lines between work and pleasure.
And, somehow it worked!
There’s something special in a group of people pulling together in the same direction.
The company
In the first two years we doubled and went from 5 people in a ridiculously small office to 10 people taking over 3 large office spaces.
The company was expanding at a good rate.
My design team was expanding too, which I had always wanted to build and lead.
I had taken on another designer…
The design team, be it small, started to feel like an oiled machine.
And well oiled we was! Noting the team as most profitable within the company.
I had introduced effective design processes.
I took ownership of the projects, communicated directly with clients. I pitched concepts, ran meetings with clients including facilitating workshops and internal design reviews with the team.
The design team expanded again, I had found another talented designer.
Power up!
Then, 5 years down the line…
I handed my notice in 😡
What Happened? 🤷♂️
The company needed to grow up in order to become more profitable (it was a business, after all).
The company pivoted 180° and management proceeded down a new path. ‘Grown ups’ had come in and attitudes started to sway, somewhat seemingly overnight.
It felt like a positive step though 🤞
For the first time things within the business started to get done, properly. People started to take ownership for tasks that would normally be left unactioned or for someone else to pickup.
Responsibilities for people who were previously flittering between roles, now had a new focus.
There was had a driver for change and things were changing quickly indeed.
Change
Change can be a positive action.
But the problem with change when forced is it’s often met with resistance.
I found that my personal managerial style was incompatible with the new management style.
Things wanted to be done, and fast. Regardless.
Maybe my priorities were out?
I felt the culture starting to shift and the lines between work and pleasure became distinctly black and white.
Then I read this quote, which changed everything for me:
“Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.” — Quote, Farrah Gray — Reiterated by Brian Rose — Founder London Real
And that’s exactly how I felt.
So I accepted that I needed to change instead.
Change, one must 🙏
I was struggling with what I had bought into after all these years of hard graft and late nights.
I had become complacent with the way things were and I had lost my passion for the company along the way.
The problem here was I took it upon myself to be extremely passive and take a back seat. Which is an odd personality trait for me… being the fiery but passionately argumentative person I am.
It was noticeable, externally.
It had a negative impact on my mental health and well-being 😒
It was a continuous loop of being unhappy, followed with bouts of anger, then not giving a f*ck…
“First one must change. I first watch myself, check myself, then expect changes from others.” — Dalai Lama
I finally decided after much deliberation to hand my notice in.
I was going to go freelance, always a side hustle of mine but never full-time. It was always my dream to work for myself.
I had a small amount of work lined up after my notice period. Nothing else.
I had no portfolio. No body of work. No case studies. No website. No brand. Not even an updated CV… the one I had was 8 years out of date!
I had to start from scratch.
Over the course of 2 months of working my notice period… I worked my ass off in my spare time working on client projects, making connections and putting the foundation in place so I can transition into freelancing full-time.
I’m into my fourth month and I can 100% without a doubt say it was the best decision I have ever made… other than to marry my wife and having children (of course).
Like anything new, it brings with it its own challenges and the hard work will pay dividends.
The 5 pivotal points that led to my decision
- My wife and I found out we was expecting our second child
- I needed the flexible lifestyle and work/family balance
- I wanted to build my own dream
- I wanted to be my own boss
- I needed to be accountable for my own future
Definitive reasons why calling it quits may be the right thing to do:
- When your mental health suffers as a result
- When you feel like you’re contributing to someone else’s success
- When the bottom line becomes the most important thing
I’ll say this again, the bottom line isn’t the most important thing, the people are 🤑
I hope that if you are considering following your own dream that you make that leap, dive in head first and never look back.
You got this 👊
