[LIVE] Why losing is the best thing ever!
And how to Pass 3 exams you’ve flunked even though you’re collage grades are screwed and passing them might not make a difference.
“A man who fears losing has already lost”
— George R.R. Martin
I failed again.
I have 3 backs so I have to go back to collage to give those exams again. Coupled with this embarrassing frustration I have. I’ve reached the lowest depths of my life yet. And I want to remember this feeling of grief. I’ve failed in the past and I will fail again in the future. And I’m lucky that way. Hitting rock bottom means everything else that hits you is just another failed attempt to get you down. It essentially means you’re close to invincible. In the off chance that that shit really is rock bottom, you’ve been through enough that you can handle it.
Honestly, being depressed is pretty lame. There’s a much more badass way to handle it. Be pissed off. Don’t hide the fact that life can go suck a dick. I’m not saying reveal your sob stories to others. Rather just make sure people know your life is a bitch and you’re unaffected by her tantrums. Now that’s Badass.
Now on to the Damage Control. How do i fix this ?
Step 0- Stop Using Medium to Procrastinate.
I’m conflicted in this one, like i am with most things in my life.
Yes i’m typing down my feelings and as such without really addressing the matter in hand.But here’s the justification i gave myself
- I’ll have a game-plan.
- I still have some time ?
- Productive Procrastination
- those self-help article about writing down your goals and written plans
- A false sense of achievement.
- The Internet is the best place to vent
- Currently helping me not to think about my impending doom and self-diagnosed depression :):):)
So i’m gonna have to skip that one
Step 1- Sort shit out.
Luckily ,even after studying my ass off, i had a feeling i’d still Fail ! So I got most of the study material back with me.The extra luggage weight paid off. Looks like i’m half a step ahead of you, darkness !
who’s laughing now, darkness?
you still are… but i’m gonna punch that smirk right outa your face one day.
my ‘re’-exams start on the 14th of june ,followed by the 20th and 24th, followed by 26th, which is my birthday, and i don’t plan to sulk on that day!
Prep time — 30 days.(and then some)
Step 2- know your enemies.
- Medical Image Processing
MIP is what i imagine a shitty boss would be. Always has work for you and won’t ever be impressed no matter how much you do it. Math has never been by strong point and this guy is heavy on that(at least by my standards) .The professor had a very technical way with his teaching and the slow kids (me) just kept staring at his nerdy visage speaking gibberish, pretending to pay attention hoping that he wouldn’t decide to ask us questions again.He’s a great teacher really, I’m not a great student.
As for the subject, I do have a fascination for him. This guy powered with Machine learning can make all sorts of cool things happen And I’m a huge geek for these kinds of things (albeit not a good one). I decided to tackle him by getting an ELI5 over the alien topics using the Feynman technique. Great technique except that I didn’t pay close attention to step 4.
End result- I got an Intuitive understanding over him so i aced the MCQs with only 2–3 marks in the write-up. Them having a 1:3 weightage ,i got average in my midterms. But my finals though didn’t have MCQs so naturally I screwed up.
\\The game plan’s still TK but i need a coffee break
- Integrated Circuit Systems
well well well…if it isn’t my arch nemesis. ICS is basically a Bully. Takes away my lunch money,beats me to a pulp and still waiting there for me the next day to do it again. Fuck you LDA ! thanks for failing only me in my entire class, making me repeat the entire course the next semester ,only to fail me for the 3rd time again. I don’t wish ill for people except you. i hope you hit your shin to a table and it hurts real bad. I know it’s not personal but after all you’ve done, it kinda feels like it is!
But ICS, I want you to know you’re the one who introduced me to electronics and I appreciate you for that.When i crawl out of this unkind pit and figure out something to do with my life.The life lessons you implicitly taught might have a hand.
\\TK I’m a caffinated lifeform
- Machine Learning
\\TK i’m allergic to not being on coffee