Pursuit of Purpose > Suicide

It’s like pushing a massive stone off the top of the mountain and then trying to race down the mountain to try and stop it from rolling.

Once you fall into despair it gets harder and harder to beat. Depression, anxiety, a lack of self worth are only the beginning. As the stone rolls down the mountain it knocks others and soon a landslide of self-pitying thoughts bombard your brain and in the midst of the agony all you’re left with is the question, “why should I even live anymore?”

What I hate about suicide is that I’m trying to live my life around building others up, serving their needs, and providing an anchor when they have none. When someone around me kills himself it’s like telling me that all my efforts were pointless and not good enough. I swear if I had known he was suicidal I would’ve done more, but I had no idea so I ignorantly underserved him my entire life.

That’s why I had to start a suicide prevention company. I had no choice but to call it Suicide Sucks, because it does. I actually hate working on the project because of how people treat themselves when they are despairing. It’s like, “dude you’re already clearly at rock bottom why are you beating yourself up now?” He’s so hard on himself, but I don’t blame him. Our culture is such that when you have no one else to turn to, you go online and you complain about your problems to anyone who will listen, and I guess the best tactic to get people to listen to you with a caring ear is to insult yourself refusely.

That’s been my biggest focus thus far. Listening. Clearly there isn’t enough of that going on because I’ve heard quite a few rigorous venting sessions that would leave anyone feeling like they’ve just got off the world’s fastest roller coaster that spins at dizzying speeds. I seriously have to walk away, give my beautiful wife a huge bear hug, play with my giggly toddler daughter, kiss my infant daughter, and then take a nap, just to cope with the challenges that are faced by OTHERS. I feel so bad for people that are struggling.

If I could wish anything at this point, (assuming that the option to fly was still non-practical and impossible), it would be that human beings would unanimously define the purpose of life and then work to achieve it. Clearly an impossible feat knowing the state of our world today, but regardless of the impracticality, a guy can dream right?

Here’s my definition of life’s purpose: “To achieve happiness through correct decision making in your pursuit of it.”

Some decisions lead to happiness, and others to misery. Simple.

All you have to do in order to find happiness in your life is to take a few minutes every time you find yourself either happy, or miserable and trace your steps. “What decisions did I make to get myself here?” Being self aware is a trait few have mastered, but it’s a requirement when it comes to knowing how to make decisions that lead to happiness and away from despair.