Suicide Is a Personal Problem
I’ve been dropping hints that something like this was going to take place soon…
It’s finally happened.
I quit my job so I can spread the word that Suicide Sucks!
Making today my first official day as a full time Suicide Sucks entre-non-profiter.
As I’ve been telling people about my intentions to give up an awesome salary, extremely good benefits, a 6% matching 401k program, and a career trajectory that I worked and sacrificed so much to obtain the top response has been, “that’s great, so things are going well enough financially for you to do that?”
My response is always the same,
“No, but ‘If you build it, they will come!’”
Some of you may be unfamiliar with one of the world’s greatest baseball flicks of all time, but Field of Dreams is a classic I recommend to you. There are some nay-sayers against this concept in the entrepreneurial world, but fortunately for us this is the entre-non-profit world, where added value, service, and dedicated compassion toward fixing a problem in the world defies conventional rules.
Seriously though, a huge thanks to my wife and two daughters who are so special to be willing to let me take this leap of faith like this. We are probably in for some turbulent waters. I know that taking care of them is my number one responsibility, but I can’t deny this feeling, this pull, this force of gravity that is pushing me to innovate and improve suicide prevention as we know it today. So somehow, in some way, we’ll survive and the bills will get paid. Of that, I have no doubt. Your readership and support are an indicator to me that this is a need that we can fill. I just hope we can do that in time to save at least one life from suicide, or even from continuing to live in pain, fear, or without purpose.
As of last Thursday morning 2:47 AM MST we became a “top writer” for Mental Health!
Which means that you, my unmet friend, are finding ways to connect with me and the other contributing writers for Suicide Sucks, and we would LOVE to hear from you so we can know what we should be focusing on. What type of content and information would you like to see and hear about?
What are you most frustrated with as you’ve been seeking help from suicide prevention organizations?
What questions would you like organizations like us to ask you?
Please leave your comments and suggestions for us to address as we seek to raise the bar on applicable and valuable content for struggling individuals.
Let me just say thank you for caring about yourself, and others, enough to read these articles portraying why suicide sucks so bad. Clearly you see as we see, that suicide is THE WORST. You continue to read knowing that suicide is an issue that needs more attention, more care, more concern, and more content.
The 1% of surviving Golden Gate Bridge jumpers have said that the instant their hands left the rail, “it was an instant regret.”
Kevin Hines said in his story that when his world came crashing down that he felt as though not a single person cared for him in the entire world, and even after he jumped his next thought while falling was “no one’s gonna know that I didn’t wanna die.”
Here’s where my theory really starts to take shape. It’s not fully developed, so I’d love to hear your input and your perspective.
Suicide is a Personal Problem.
The problem with suicide isn’t that you and I have personal problems that we can’t seem to deal with very well. No, it’s not that at all. Everyone has personal problems.
Instead, suicide is a problem with humans Not being Personal.
The only appropriate solution to social rejection is PERSONAL ACCEPTANCE.
You may not be able to control the actions of others, but you can certainly begin now to treat others with the kindness you’ve always wanted, but have never received yourself. I often hear people say, “I’m always taking care of others, but nobody seems to care about me.” And to this I just want to say don’t you quit! Don’t you give up being a good, selfless person. People like you who can actually see the needs of others and act on it are so rare, and so needed in today’s day.
So If you are struggling to feel loved and accepted then I urge you to seek the God who made you, through genuine and vulnerable prayer. Seek the one whose son or daughter you are so he can remind you of your infinite worth and so his consoling love and his endless compassion will pick you up and help you carry on.
In addition to that loving Father above, we want you to know that we love you. That we’re here to support you. To strengthen you. And when I say we, I mean the small group of us that make up the Suicide Sucks organization, as well as all those that believe as you and I do, that suicide sucks. After you experience suicide directly or indirectly you are automatically made an honorary member of this suicide sucks family. It’s not much, but it’s a place to call home.
The topic of suicide is extremely personal because it deals with tragedies, debt, addictions, behaviors, habits, failures, emptiness, loneliness, depression, anxiety…
Because our experiences are so personal we really need personal relationships with people we can trust to help us overcome our life’s challenges.
Personal relationships have to be made intentionally. They don’t just happen. You may have people in your life that allow personal relationships to be initiated very easily and naturally, but they take work to develop and grow into a trusting partnership where communication can be open, honest, and even brutal.
One measure of how well you’re doing with creating personal relationships is to start by asking, “How approachable am I to my closest family and friends?” For me, I always have to check in with myself to question how approachable I am. If my little brother were alive today, would he be willing to come talk to this version of who I’ve become? If my little sisters were struggling with a big life decision, would they come talk to me about it? If my wife was feeling extremely stressed and frustrated with me for quitting my job to go full time suicide prevention, seemingly like a crazy idealist with unrealistic expectations would she feel like her opinion is respected enough that she could talk to me about it?
Surviving the suicide of a loved one adds interesting life perspective. Seven years has passed since Scotty completed his suicide. Each day adds additional motivation for me to become more of the brother, husband, father, friend, that I should’ve been before he died. The pain I consistently feel can’t be treated by keeping my painful experiences and my love to myself or within my own current sphere of influence, and therefor I’m reaching out to you and to others like you to try and help you feel like there are people out there that know what’s it’s like, and that we’re willing to listen.
There are people out there that know the pain and sorrow that you feel and we truly want you to find hope in your life. We’re not just empty profiles. We’re actively pursuing modern forms of communication to try and connect with you as much as we possibly can, and we’re hoping you’ll have the courage to send us a message, or leave us a comment telling us in what ways we were/are able to connect with your story. And we’re also hoping that through our efforts you’ll be thinking about those around you that could use these messages, and that you’ll recommend us to them so our community can grow in love and support of one another.
