Thank you for this interesting and well written post!
And yeah, I’m fully aware of the the risk I’m taking with this comment, but I feel brave today! :)
I find it hard to understand what exactly is it, that forces you (or anybody) to surrender to men (or anybody) in situations where everyone actually has a free will and a choice.
Isn’t it very common amongst competitive people, that they almost instinctively push and pull others? Constantly trying to determine the social competence and the level of inner independence of any given person in any given situation.
This is natural, considering that one of the best ways to quickly reveal ones ability to maintain his/her social independence or “mainframe”, is by analysing his/her reactions to external influences.
The way I understand it, someone tried to influence your behaviour in a certain situation where you had the absolute 100% control over yourself the whole time.
You made the conscious decision to capitulate, smile and thank the person who was influencing you. Even though you obviously didn’t want to.
Then you went and wrote this article about how hard it is, when men (people) are trying to create value by influencing others, using the great variety of tactics and techniques the society has taught us to use.
We all probably know millions of examples of this kind of behaviour. And yes, it’s often very hard to linguistically and accurately communicate about these things. But may I ask, why aren’t we more excited about the millions of opportunities that these — often times intruding — external influences open for us?
Of course, to be able to see these things as an opportunity for value-creating interactions instead of just a humiliation, asks for a certain kind of inner independence and social openness. Luckily those qualities are achievable to most of us.
OK! Bring it, I’m ready :)