She Was Alive

She pulled the knife from her chest and smiled. “Was that supposed to hurt?”

Though her eyes zest with confidence and did remain steady. She knew the only reason she was still standing was from a force unknown to her. The words jerked out of her mouth, like a natural reflex. They begin to back away, not the girl who threw the knife, she darted off the moment Cassie began to respond. I mean her friends at the party. It was if she took an entirely new form. It was frightening to see the invisible glow around someone, but ironically — they could see it.

Cassie didn’t look to chase after the girl. After spending hours in the hospital to get stitched and reminded several times over that she should count her blessings, that the knife just missed some major arteries, she just smiled. Her smile was not to be confused with arrogance, but being an inch closer to death, put her rather tightened muscle at ease. She was now free to live, for she understood the form of sleepwalking she participated in was not living.

Her words were savored. Only handed out when she recognized her words could equally match the beautiful sensation from the new silence and peace she felt in her heart. Her old friends — most of them were convinced that the knife that ripped through her flesh on her chest somehow had a cerebral effect, as she was never the same around them. What they failed to realize was that Cassie was exactly who she was supposed to be. She smiled when friends would stop by and claim others were talking about how ‘weird’ she was now. She smiled and thought ‘good.’ She also knew that interaction with those people would possibly be her last, given that these ‘friends’ were comfortable enough to allow those words to be unchallenged when Cassie wasn’t there to protect herself.

Her family believed she was pushing those she loved most away, but Cassie knew she was pulling those who she loved most closer. Yet the person she spent most time on was herself.

Dating for Cassie required less stress, when she wanted to meet up for a meal, she made it clear of her intentions. She found that coyly waiting for the guy to make the first move was an expired gesture. The three-day rule most guys tended to use before calling was nothing more than blind faith realizing the only thing she was promised was the present moment.

Blind faith though, was something she believed in with all of her heart, but not at the expense of tasting every last bite of the journey with a clear and open pallet.

The girl who threw the knife was eventually indicted. Not from Cassie actively turning her in, but she did so at her own will. Cassie’s confidence frightened her. Her silence after a fast recovery was even more unsettling as living life not knowing when this ‘unhuman’ like creature would return for her revenge was worse than sitting in jail paying the price for her nearly fatal lapse of judgment.

Cassie moved with grace. Though she was often alone, which was by choice. The way she hummed to the fruits and vegetables at the local farmers market seemed as she was in the presence of her closest friends. She was aware of the energy around her, but would not allow for that to penetrate her very own without her consent. She was alive.