Monogamous #MasturDebate

Aaron J. Yancey
May 14 · 5 min read

“Many men attempt to protect their lover’s heart by deception, being discrete, and creating some of the best lies ever recited, instead of being monogamous” — William H. Person, Impostor: A Journey to Monogamy

Just call me Urrrsher

Cuz I’ve got a confession to make

During my delightful and docile decade of marriage

I was a serial cheater

Before you get all bent out of shape

Please keep reading

It’s not as bad as it sounds

Let me explain…

I was a serial “virtual” cheater

I’m talking with women like heather hunter

And the cougar who dressed up like Sarah Palin

Lisa Ann

Caught in a billion dolla web of x-rated internet

It was one of my largest downfalls dooming me to divorce

I constantly would lie then confess

Or try to hide only to eventually be caught

Women are natural born detectives

I never got away with anything

After all the tired apologies and failed promises to stop

My now ex-wife was fed up

If I had married #vanillagelato

#chunkymonkey

Or even #neapolitan

Based strictly on years of observing interracial relationships

I could have gotten away with a few hundred more funk ups

But she was #cookiesandcream with #chocolate tendencies

She had enough of my bullsheet

As Robert Sylvester Kelly sang

When A Woman’s Fed Up

There ain’t nothn’ you can do about it

Beggin’ like Mary Jane Blige and Biggie for one more chance

Or Cryin’ like Jodeci

Unfortunately

Would not bring her back to me…

Is watching p0rn within a monogamous marriage relationship cheating

I’m curious to know how you all feel about this

And would love to read your comments below

Or take a quick moment to answer this one question survey

I’ve heard many women say no to this question

I discovered #dingasaur and p0rn around the age of 8

Church attendance and Bible reading made me view this as a sin

Thus beginning the life-long cycle of attempting to break my addiction to dopamine

Able to go cold turkey months at a time

Praying and trying my best to channel that pent up energy elsewhere

Attending recovery groups at church

Which they always seem to have for men

Not women

I guess women are not ashamed of B.O.B. as I am of #dingasaur

As I was reading Impostor: A Journey to Monogamy

Initially I didn’t one hundred percent relate to the Author

Hearing each sexu@l escapade freed me to feel less ashamed and dirty

I’ve always been admonished not to compare myself to the X-rated exploits of other men

Holding myself to an unrealistic cultural and self-imposed higher pious prudish standard

#billygstring had some wild personal testimonies

You have to read the book to find out who that character is

#billygstring had the kinds of Too Short Freaky Tales I imagined having as a teenager

If only I was just two to four inches taller

Had a better jump shot and made the b-ball team at Truman State or Bradley University

Cue the classic scene from He Got Game

You’ll have to search for the actual P-Hub clip on your own

I enjoy toeing that invisible line but I’m not trying to have my website flagged

I just hope those of ya’ll discretely reading this at work don’t get in trouble 😉

One of my many nicknames in High School was actually Jesus

I at times showed glimpses of basketball greatness

I hated playing defense and was a very streaky shooter

I definitely never scored two #snowbunnies at once like Mr. Shuttlesworth

I had several opportunities to cheat with real women

Especially while at #whitemanbank

As I perfected my best #whitevoice

Pulling tips from How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying

Quickly climbing my way up that lousy ladder

My autonomy increased tremendously

The women got prettier and prettier

I was also packn’ a p-card / purchasing card

Capable of taking any woman I wanted on a lunch date

As long as it wasn’t some fancy place like The Capital Grille

To discuss business of course

I once heard a pastor say he tries to never be alone with a woman other than his wife

Well in the corporate world that’s darn near impossible

Between golf outings

Happy Hours

Business trips

The list goes on

Temptation is errrwhere

You also get to know some of your co-workers on a very close level beyond just work

I distinctly remember being alone in a car with a Snow Bunny in marketing

An attractive young widow

Maybe I’m bad at reading signals but my Spidey #sexsenses saw an open door

I never knew of my Pop cheating on Ma while growing up

His example made me always value monogamy

Plus I did love my ex-wife

She was my best friend

We met in college

She was a senior

I was a freshman

We had practically grown up together over those 10 lonnng years

I could never imagine hurting her like that

Now I understand why my therapist says he thinks Corporate America hates families

The closest I came to actually cheating on my wife was toward the end of our marriage

It was an emotional affair of sorts

I FaceTimed a young lady for approximately four hours

Venting about all of my personal and professional angst to a woman I barely knew

As I read the quote at the top of this post and made it through the remainder of the book

It forced me to ponder ways I felt like an Impostor

On my own particular journey back to monogamy

It feels like a necessary part of rebuilding my nest

So I’ll be prepared for whatever special relationship comes next

I’ve been divorced for nearly two years now

During that span of separation my ex-wife and I tried to work things out at one point

I also had a few flings

From chickenheads to thoroughbreds

At times I felt like I was making up for my twenties

I didn’t really do a whole lot of sowing my royal oats

I like a whipped fool got married at the tender age of 20

Impostor: A Journey to Monogamy made me laugh

And also ponder various encounters I’ve had with women

Before

During

And after my divorce

Dating at 32 is definitely not like dating at 22

Especially when you have a baby momma and child support

I’m looking forward to continuing to create conversation around this book

Feel free to follow me on this journey

As I share my favorite quotations and reflections

You can learn more about the author and purchase a copy here: http://williamperson.com/

© 2019 by Aaron J. Yancey


Originally published at http://aaronjyancey.com on May 14, 2019.

Aaron J. Yancey

Written by

Anomaly born in Germany raised in St. Louie For my 📚 👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾Click the following link https://aaronjyancey.com/booksbya-a-ron

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