A New Adventure
I am turning the corner on the previous year, with a bit more knowledge than I had before…a few more bumps…a few bruises, but I survived. I survived another year, estranged from my family of origin.
This year, although far better than previous years while still in the relationship, was super tough. I had been away for quite some time from the dramas of my estranged family, but I still had new obstacles to overcome, new relationships to build, new traumas and sorrows to endure while crawling through my seemingly never-ending slough of grief. Throw in a cancer scare, a fire AND a flood, this past year for me was…in a word…overwhelming. And yet I STILL considered it a better life than what I had previously. So it got me thinking.
I’ve decided to face my fears and be explicit….and do it on purpose…for it is my truth…it’s not always pretty…yet there it is, in it’s raw nakedness, waiting for the elephant in the room to respond….to acknowledge my existence… for my trauma, it is the essence of what drives my work… out of my trauma there birthed a passion to get to the bottom it…not just simply for my own sake or the sake of my family whom I still love very deeply…but for others who have endured similar circumstances, to stand with someone and look them in the eye and say,
“Yeah, sometimes, things don’t f***ing make sense…but we’re gonna clean our wounds as best we can and move forward anyway.”
I will attempt (with as much support as I can muster) to accomplish a sort of enlightenment by sharing my truth with others and also giving them a platform to share as well. Many of us have been silenced for far too long. Family estrangement (from the adult child’s perspective) is less talked about for many reasons I wish to expose.
I cannot express the feeling I have within me when I think of the potential of what breaking the silence could do! Excitement and FEAR are stirring within me! I shake at the thought of going back to all the dark and scary places to pick up the shards of my shattered family and show them to you…it is my only memento from my life that has somehow survived my memories.
I’m not sure how things will play out in the end. But I’m hoping, the little pebbles of hope I drop into these dark waters of family trauma and will ripple enough to reach the shores of all those abandoned by or escaping their family of origin.