This is where i leave you
I have been through hell and back for a while now, many times, in the last few months. Its been weird and hurtful, the questions which never go answered and the unbelievable loneliness that crosses over sometimes. No one can help me, i have understood, that i have to help myself. Love is a butt load of crap that i was feeding myself for quite some time, accentuated with the romantic crazy that i have been watching since i was a kid.
“There is no hero out there to save you. In life, you have to be that hero, if you want to survive and grow”.
People are going to disappoint you and you are going to disappoint them. Its a race as to who is going to be the first in the race, and the one who does, wins. The loser keeps to it for some more time — hurt and the memories — until life gives in.
I kept going back to the moment of hurt, that moment where it all ended, going through the same shit and how it could have run out differently. When people give up on you, it hurts so much more coz u didn’t give up on them. And then things don’t make sense most of the time and you tell yourself that someday things will make sense.
But let it be, there is no moving on. I have understood that you start to live with the hurt till it stops to affect you. And the memory crops up here and there, when you are least expecting it. Lo and behold, this is where i leave you.
I leave the love i felt for you, the anger and the injustice of it all
I leave the laughter, the cries and the hugs
I leave things to karma today — what you sow, sow shall you reap
This is where i leave you and find myself again