My First Two Weeks on Medium
Here’s how they went.
I went from being thrilled to finally starting my own blogs, get my writing out there and have my stories heard to not feeling like writing anymore.
Quite enthusiastic, I’d say I was. However, the real question is why did my enthusiasm slowly diminish? All that remains is the need to write as if it’s a chore.
Seeing other people get their content read and clapped made me kind of disappointed. Why is it that I didn’t get that much reads or comments?
Some people did clap but that’s it.
Surprisingly, I had gained a few followers, I was astonished. Really!
I didn’t know what to expect when I began but it was more than enough at that time.
In the beginning, I was ecstatic to have just one read. But then as I saw that I got more appreciation, instead of being happy about it, it made me want to have more and more. My hunger and greed grew more and more as the days passed. Two weeks isn’t that much time, I know. Having 8 followers is already a blessing.
But, I couldn’t see that. All I saw were others and their progress forgetting what I had acheived was great too. I was obsessed with my content. Why do I have only 50 claps? Why have only 7 people read my blog?
I want more! More! More! I kept repeating this chant over and over again in my head.
When I began, I jumped in with zero knowledge. Not knowing what I was doing, I shared my first blog to my best friend in the beginning. She was the only one who read it. Clapped for me and gave me positive comments. That motivated me to write more.
Then I published another blog, then another, and another and it went on. Everyday, I was more and more motivated to write and get my content out there hoping someone would read it.
And that came true. Soon, other people read them too!
Was I satisfied then? Yes!
Later? No!
I started on Medium with one idea in mind that: “I was going to write my own blogs and be super cool.” That’s what I had told myself. And I knew that writing was my passion. It has always been.
But, when did that passion turn into a chore?
All these social media celebrities namely the influencers and bloggers seemed pretty cool to me. The reason? They seemed to have a lot of following and actively engaged with their audience. Despite the audience not knowing them personally, they were still impatient to engage with them and obsessed over them. They had people admire them and leave positive comments.
But me? No comments. And that’s what disappointed me.
Now, I realise that I was much too obsessed with the idea of being famous and idealised. Although this wasn’t what I wanted, however; unintentionally, I began to crave it.
Several people quit in the first month, I’ve heard. And to be honest? I wanted to as well. It was overwhelming. I just couldn’t continue with these feelings constantly nagging me.
Then I forced myself to take a break for a few days. I tried my best not to think about it and enjoyed my time with my family.
It was because I was excessively stressed and constantly wanted to write something, feeling useless otherwise. I thought I’d lack behind and refused to even consider the thought. If I didn’t write one day, I’d write twice the next day because I didn’t want to miss a day, I didn’t write. I wanted to make up for it.
Slowly all of this rush began to take its toll on me, squeezing all of this in between my studies got a bit tough.
It was then I realised that I was obsessing over all of this when I only wanted to write and enjoy it. When did I go from loving it to hating it?
People here are more experienced than me and have far better and well-written content than me. I was here to learn, to share my ideas and experiences not to obsess over my stats.
Obsessing over stats only led me nowhere but to my own downfall.
If anyone ever reads this, I hope they keep in mind that none of the paths you choose is easy. Start slow and easy. I fell hard because I compared my work, stats, writing, content and what not to others.
Consistency is the key. Over-work is not.
It has been barely two weeks or perhaps a bit more. Gaining 8 followers is an accomplishment already.
There must’ve been something good in my content that people chose to read it and follow me. That absolutely doesn’t mean they are eagerly waiting for me to publish. But it is still an accomplishment.
I will learn and grow.
One day, I wish to have myself recongized andmy work appreciated. I don’t know how many people will read this but I do know that this time I have emerged stronger and I will not quit.
I will keep working hard and not give up!
~Wish me luck :)
