You are exactly where you are supposed to be.
From a young age, society trains us to believe that we need to have our entire lives mapped out the second we graduate high school. Armed with our five-to-ten-year plans, we set out on the ever-changing journey we call life.
With social media becoming more prevalent than ever, it’s all too easy to compare your life with those of a colleague, family member, even an old classmate from high school or college. The constant evidence of their accomplishments can make it easy to foster insecurities and feel as if you are falling behind in life if yours looks different.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” — Theodore Roosevelt
It’s easy to fall down the rabbit hole when scrolling aimlessly down the different feeds of the numerous social apps on our phones.
A former classmate just married their college sweetheart when you just got out of a relationship. Your coworker just got hired for a job with a significant raise while you’re stuck at the bottom of the totem pole making pennies. Your cousin is graduating soon and already secured their dream job, but you can’t even pick a major though you’ve been in school for longer.
It’s even easier to feel like you will never get to where you want to be.
Ask yourself: what does success look like to you?
Is it a high-paying job? Marriage? Children? Or maybe it’s something simple — being happy. Doing a job that you love to do, not just for the salary it comes with. When you redefine what success is for you, then you can begin to rewire your brain and lose those negative thoughts.
You aren’t falling behind. You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.
It’s okay to follow your own timeline, even if it doesn’t align with everyone else’s. We all have numerous obstacles we must overcome throughout the course of our lives.
The key to getting out of this pattern is to stop looking for outside validation from society. Forcing yourself to follow the steps ingrained into us from our youth when they don’t align or benefit you can be exhausting.
The first step is to acknowledge what no longer serves you and begin to heal. It’s okay to rest, even if it’s for an extended period. Resting and recharging doesn’t always happen as quickly as we want it to.
Take a breath, prioritize your needs first, and really begin to analyze what matters to you. From there it is much easier to see what makes you happy. If you need an idea on where to start, consider a few options I’ve listed below.
Try journaling. Write down your fears, your dreams, your feelings. Anything that comes up in your mind — write it down. Purging the overactive and destructive thoughts will allow for a clearer mindset, making it harder for intrusive thoughts to reoccur. Journaling can boost your mood, enhance you sense of self, and reduce stress and anxiety, leaving you feeling refreshed and ready to conquer this journey, one day at a time.
Begin a new workout practice. Exercising boosts your energy, improves your mood, and promotes sleep, all great factors if you want to get out of a slump and reevaluate what matters to you. Studies show that endorphins released during workouts are effective in reducing stress, anxiety, and even mild depression. Find a style you enjoy and dedicate yourself to a consistent routine.
Prioritize rest. If you find it hard to let yourself rest, make it a point to allocate time to do just that. Allowing your body time to decompress and relax can do wonders once you release tension and stress. Resting promotes creativity, decreases blood pressure, increases productivity, and can even strengthen relationships.
Connect with others that have experienced the same. Speaking with other people who have gone through same thing can provide a supportive community. Seek advice, encouragement, and share your own struggles to help prove that you aren’t alone during this time.
It’s easy to feel alone when you think no one will understand what you’re going through. Don’t let the feelings aid in isolating yourself from those that can provide support close to you.
Change can be intimidating for anyone, but dedicating time to rediscovering yourself, developing healthy habits, and taking advantage of the support around you can give you a solid start to paving your new way in life.
“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” — Carl Jung
