I Wasn’t Tripping this Whole Time, My Kinky-Curly Mane Doesn’t Like Protein!

Claudine, as I call my hair, has always been picky from the jump. While transitioning, she hated all the affordable deep conditioning recommendations I got online. Shampooing made her extra thirsty and super crunchy and she punished me by becoming unmanageable. I tried removing with with extra virgin olive oil and that was a dud. It made my scalp red and unbelievably itchy. I was at my wit’s end. But I figured that all this uppity behavior had to be because I was dealing with the straight relaxed texture and the super-curly kinky one growing in.

In early 2014, after almost 2 years of transitioning, I took some scissors in my friend, Chijenefa’s room and began cutting the relaxed bits off. I was relieved to at least have enough hair for a little puff! But Claudine was still as picky as ever. I spent every wash day trying to figure out my hair regimen. I threw hundreds of dollars in the process and I still had made zero success. Nada. Zilch.

You would think this story would get better. I’m sure you’re expecting that I magically read some blog post that gave me the answers to my chaotic mane. Yeah, that’s not what happened. By the middle of that year, I picked up a keratin conditioner, hoping it would do some good. But it made Claudine so mad she transformed into the Hulk! All mad and rough! I quickly twisted my hair once she dried, that was the way I pacified her every time we had a disastrous episode. However, for the first time, I knew who the culprit was: keratin.

I kept searching online for a fuss-free regimen because some naturalistas were doing the absolute most. Does anyone with a full head of type 4 hair actually have the cowash during the week and then wash on the weekend? Say after me: ”Ain’t Nobody Got Time for that!” Every time I saw a very complicated routine, I rolled my eyes and kept it pushing. Most online hair blogs and YouTubers suggested that I needed a protein treatment. I did it twice and it back-fired!

After that, anytime somebody tried suggesting protein treatments, I ignored it. Yes, ma’am, o ni koba mi. And for years afterwards (with a few issues I had to overcome here and there, remind me to write about this), it was smooth sailing. By 2015, I had a good regimen and by 2016, I had a bomb regimen and my hair thrived! Do you hear me?!

Fast-forward to 2018, I noticed my edges falling out. I originally blamed it on hair dressers. However, given how crunchy my hair has felt since I left the United States and ran out of American products, I have found many Nigerian hair products have too much protein for my picky mane. Have I subsequently found amazing products? Yes. However, they either haven’t been cost effective or hard to find. (Scratch that I’ve found a great brand that I cannot wait to share). When I tell you that Claudine has tried, believe me. She’s my ride or die.

In order to make sure Claudine thrives again, I knew I had to make changes. Change isn’t easy, but everyone who knows me knows I don’t play about my day ones. And Claudine is literally been with me from the womb. Here are the steps I

1. Chill out- I have stopped experimenting with my haircare. I now request an ingredient list when approached by a haircare brand to try out their products. This has stopped quite a few partnerships. But I’ll chose my hairline over free products all day. Last year, in the process of experimenting and reviewing many local haircare brands, I definitely did lots of damage. I loved getting free haircare products, but my edges suffered a hit.

2. Keep my hair in low manipulation styles — My present fave is the OG African threading. This particular hairstyle doesn’t put as much tension on my edges (like braids), and lets me escape the intense heat most stylists insist on using to stretch my hair. Did I forget the fact that it allows my scalp to breathe? Guess my ancestors knew a thing or two. Or more. That’s a topic for another day.

3. Chill. Within the past few months, I have realized that Claudine is just hair. Someday, I’ll probably get tired of her and cut her all off. Perhaps, I’ll just stick to a buzz cut. I have no idea what bold hairstyle I’ll sport when I’m finally a yummy mummy. Claudine will be fine, I’ll be good. I can’t kill myself.

What have you discovered about your mane? Does he/she have a name? If she does, tell. Claudine needs friends. I’m her wingman.