#3 in your list is #1 in my book. :-)
I smiled at “stay calm,” as it does have a wickedly-amusing sense of someone just revealing that they are a vampire and admitting your neck looks tasty … but I do know what you meant. The sad reality is how people do freak-out when the person they thought they knew is quite different than their picture.
It’s also vitally important to realize that “coming out” is a process that often doesn’t include everyone all at once, which is my experience. Some of us need to wade in, deal with one aspect of our lives, then walk a little deeper.