How being homeless changed my life
Last night I asked the universe a question and I feel like it has been answered today. I asked “What does leading by vibration mean?”
I’ve been interested in the subject of vibration for quite some time. My earliest memories of experiencing higher vibration were last year when I just arrived in Barcelona. With little to no money and I was sleeping at my friend’s house who actually kicked me out a couple of days after arriving. We just didn’t get along on that level and that’s fine. Homeless I was kindly invited to stay at the office, I had yet started working for. I was scheduled to start working the following week.
I remember the first few days after I arrived. My current friend who had yet to kick me out was busy working all day and I had little to nothing to do so I roamed the streets looking for adventure. I started to approach and talk to all the beautiful women that I encountered. Sounds like I was living the dream now that I write about it, but the fact was that I was getting heavily rejected, probably more than my entire life. At the time it didn’t bother me, because I understood why. I wasn’t really talking to the women to ‘’add something’’ to their life or to make them laugh or even make their day. The truth was that I was feeling lonely, far away from all friends and family — not really knowing where to go, what to do or what I really wanted. I started to believe that coming to Spain was a mistake. I had underestimated just how hard it is to start a new life. With all these thoughts running through my mind, I started to fall into a downward spiral. I started having less of a good vibe, and as my vibe went down I got less creative, and ultimately it started to shake my confidence. Previously I had been very confident in my ability to access my quick wit and charm that now was gone for the first time in a very long time.
One day, perhaps three days after I had landed I just sat in the middle of the city center and had a good crying session. Crying released all sorts pent up emotions and then it happened…. All sorts of memories came back to me, memories of my most joyful and adventurous times in life and realization dawned on me. I saw how it all was connected — The truth and the fact of the matter is that every moment, every situation and every positive outcome has one variable in common and that variable was me. I am and have always been the creator of my own reality. If I wanted to feel good I had to create it within’ myself first. If I wanted to experience adventure I had to first put myself into an adventurous mood before it would manifest in the world of material things. I also realized that moving forward from this moment would put all my skills to test. Before coming to Spain I thought of myself as a social master, a person who understood how to relate and express myself in ways that could be understood to other people. I thought of myself as a guide for others, as a leader. I knew that if I wanted to be the best kind of leader that I could possibly be, I had to lead from the heart, and to me that means leading through my vibration.
Spending enough time with myself I realized what made me the most relatable to others, and the answer was my vibe. Easygoing, calm, patient, wild, full of energy, vibrant and radiant beyond words. I couldn’t sit there and cry — Where was this guy that I claimed to be? I started laughing. I stood up, picked up my phone that had no reception, I still hadn’t bought a SIM-card because I wanted to save as much money as possible. I navigated to the music section and played one of favorite my motivation tracks. It was time to get busy doing some inner work and I am forever proud of the things that went on to do from that very moment.
I walked around and I started to pump my own state, previously I had been crying and the release of emotions had left me in neutral state and I understood that if I wanted to go beyond neutral I had to take myself there. I smiled and started moving my body around while walking as the motivation track was still beating in the background. I shifted my thinking into more of a positive direction and I thought of things like ‘’I just want to make someone’s day’’ and ‘’let’s have a great big adventure’’. I approached women from this very place and the positive feedback was immediate. I could feel a difference in my own vibration and I knew I was doing it. Nothing external was moving me forward, I was completely driven by my own internal fire. I was lit and driven to set the entire world on fire, to spread my passion, love, joy and lust for life.
The following day I got kicked out from my friend’s flat and I it didn’t bother me one tiny bit. I started to see opportunity in every situation. I thought the sooner I got out, the sooner I could get my own room somewhere. I had no doubts that I would make the best out of the situation because I was able to access so much of myself — there was no way I couldn’t make it. Parts of my brain that previously was locked to me now seemed easily accessible, what I really mean is that I was more charming, witty and quick on my feet that I ever had been in my entire life.
I told my current boss and his wife about my situation and they invited me out for a beer and gave me the keys to the office. They told me they believed in me and for this I am forever grateful. I put all my effort into looking for a room that I could afford. Calling different people arranging apartment visits and on my way I would walk around and spread the incredible feelings that I had within’ myself with the women that I met along the way. Interestingly enough, I met my current girlfriend who I have been together with for a year now during the two days that I was actively looking for an apartment. It only took me two days to find a room that I liked. I was running late to an apartment viewing and I saw her walk by me so I asked her if she spoke English and we started talking. She was cute and innocent and I wanted to see her again. We exchanged contact information and I started jogging towards my destination.
I also remember meeting another interesting girl off the street later that day. Our eyes crossed once and instantly I felt something. I walked up to her started talking and invited her for coffee and we went on to have an awesome time at Starbucks and before long I realized that I had to go to visit an apartment and I asked if she wanted to come along and she was more than willing. We went together, visiting the apartment and afterwards we went on to spend the rest of the day hanging out by the beach until we parted our ways.
When I finally had arrived at the office at the end of the day a sense of joy and wonder was coursing through my body. So many girls and so much opportunity I thought. The very next day I went on to move into a room that I found and the day after that I went on to take my girlfriend out on our first date, but that’s a story for another day!
The following weeks are forever ingrained in my memories as a time in my life when I was living to my fullest potential. Exploring every option in front of me and keeping an open mind while taking charge of my life. The very thoughts I created, accumulated, magnified and spread like wildfire. Reality was reflecting back what I was thinking, it was surreal. I remember going around thinking ‘’People are so loving and amazing here’’ and before I knew it, I was getting approached by people on the street who were adding to my life in all sorts of ways. I ended up making friends and meeting wonderful people who I still haven’t forgot.
This is the answer to the question that I asked the universe. It came back to me as a memory of what I am capable of. I already know how to lead by vibration and that’s how I want to spend the rest of my life. Leading by vibration doesn’t necessarily point at the words or the actions that I say or take. It literally points at how I feel and the feeling behind every word and action. If you still don’t get it the best example I can give is: if somebody next to you is angry. Can you feel his or her anger without them uttering a single word or doing something? Yes, we are all very familiar with this. The person is vibrating anger into the atmosphere. In the same way, when someone is free in spirit, full of joy and laughter, we can feel it in their vibration before they show it in their words or actions.
This concludes today’s article and I want to mention that it’s been exactly a year since I found the first room that I rented and I like to think of this day as the day I officially moved into Barcelona. I think it’s about time enjoy the rest of the evening in celebration and if you have read this far, I want to thank you for enjoying these memories with me!