HOW NOT TO LOSE YOURSELF IN SOCIAL CURRENTS.
Know what you want of every situation you’re put it.
If you can think of it ahead of time, than do that. It will save you so much time and energy.
For me, I’m usually in 3 to 4 different scenarios. Usually. I’m either at home with my closest friends, on the road- buzzing around somewhere in “show-world”, or off trying to build relationships with new people.
At home my goal is to practice. I practice everything. Be it rudimental percussion stuff, forming habits (i.e. writing, reading, exersizing), keeping up with long-distance friends, making new friends, Super Smash Brothers (melee), etc.
When I’m on the road the goal is to make things easier for the group I’m in, and to make things easier for myself. I’m thinking about how it is I’m going to stay clean, fit, and ready for the coming show. I force myself to reflect on my life. I try to figure out how to stay emotionally balanced (because that’s super hard when you’re a twenty-something girl forced into an enclosed space with other messy humans). I try to read and write a whole bunch, too.
When I’m in show world I know that I will be surrounded by a bunch of businessy-farce and that I’m not really to expect to make any “best-friends” even though those people might be trying to make me feel really good (for whatever motive they might have — good or bad). The goal is to sell merch, make guaruntee, and to be light. That’s all.
When I’m on the internet (or any sort of social-media), I try not to be a spectator. When I have those “windows” open, I try not to waste my time. On the internet the goal is simply put out information, research things, and find ways to make money.
When I’m with people I like, but don’t really know well the objective is to get to know them. To see something that isn’t me. To earn their trust. To figure out how it is I could add to their life.
When I’m around the opposite sex I’m trying to be steady and clear with them so that they know I am a safe friend.
All of this to round off my point: if you can problem solve ahead of time, just go ahead and do that. Think of how you want to be when confronted with things. How do you want to be when someone has offended you? How do you want to be when you’re with your parents? How do you want to be when you’re confronted with needy or hyper-emotion people? How do you want to be when someone of the opposite-sex is being forward with you? How do you want to be at home or at school? How do you want to interact on social media?
Just think about it. Don’t be inchoate, short-sighted, or reactionary because the idea is practicing self-control.
Self-control by definition means to “direct your strength”. It doesn’t mean to abstain from things… it means to be goal-oriented in every situation you might be in. It means to know what you want. It means to be completely convinced of what it is you’re in that situation to do.
There’s no way to really plan for every situation in your life and to be completely ready for what’s to come. But you’d be surfing much smoother had you figured out how to stay on top of the current rather than being tossed around by it. You can’t control a wave that’s bigger than you, so it’s best not to try to figure out how to control the situations you’re in, but how to navigate them well.