I’ve dated a few guys in my lifetime. About 3 serious relationships are included in that. In my most recent break-up I learned something new.

I’ve never been broken up with. Most my relationships have ended because I realized that they were either unhealthy, or the other party’s goal was not actually unified with mine (and could have ultimately lead to my personal destruction).

I tried to end those relationships as cleanly as possible. Letting them know why it was that I needed to close the close connection we’d had, hoping to still be friends. Only with one of those people I am still close friends.

For both of those first two break-ups I’d mourned really well. I spent time being with my family and friends who knew me. I spent time thinking about what those relationships had shown me. I spent time crying about what I couldn’t share with them anymore. I prayed and praised Jesus even when my insides felt toxic.

And because I’d allowed myself to process through the insanity well, I was able to move on cleanly.

What I didn’t do was let those people know how much I’d mourned them. I didn’t let them know that I thought about every little thing they did for me when we were dating. I didn’t let them know that the time we’d shared meant anything to me.

I basically left them to believe that I hadn’t been affected by them at all. And though I was okay, and healthy, and had actually processed through it all. I didn’t give them the opportunity to know that they were really important to me. And that I was thankful for what they attempted to bring into my life. They thought I forgot them.

Typically for break-ups I gather all of my memorbilia of that person and get rid of it. But for my last break up, I decided to give the person all that I’d collected in my time with them. And now they’ll know that I did love them. That I thought about them a lot. That I didn’t just dump them like a log in a pond.

I wish that I did this for the other two relationships I was in. I hope they know that they’re not forgotten, and that I sitll think well of them. I hope they know that they were some of the greatest influences on my life, and for that I’m so grateful.

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