Do not convince yourself that they are all the same.
When you get home, you’ll cry, when you drive away from work, you’ll cry, and when you drive past his house, you’ll cry. You’ll get in the shower, you’ll cry. But you’ll cry so hard, it will be so intense that there will be no sound. You will feel your body shake and you’ll rock yourself from side to side to try to find comfort and your hand will move over your mouth to control your breathing and it will grab your chest to stop the movement. Often you don’t know why you cry, but it will hit you, a thought from the day or the week before, or perhaps a thought from several years ago , and it will hit you, sometimes with enough force to throw you across the room. It will pull you to the floor and keep you there, keep you there untill you have bled your heart dry and there is no strength left for you to stand.
But I don’t care why you’re crying, because you will pick yourself back up my dear. Look closely at yourself, at every ounce of your body in the mirror, and you will call yourself beautiful, call yourself smart and atttractive and intelligent and kind. You have to be the one to pick yourself up my dear, because I promise you, no one else ever will. It may only take a minute or it may take a little while, but you’ll do it and you’ll realise your self worth, and you must never lose the heart that you started with because believe me that is all you have. You don’t become anyone else, you can’t.
Do not seek revenge, do not sleep with someone else because you can not erase the image of him sleeping with that girl you can’t stand. Instead, you’ll smile as you walk past him on the street and you’ll laugh freely when you dance at the same party together. Do not insult him, don’t talk about him like that to other people, my dear, do not convince yourself that they are all the same.
Above all, be kind to her, that girl that he chose over you, be gracious to her, and be kind hearted to him too. Tell her how to care for him, tell her how he doesn’t like coffee, or where he likes to eat or his excitement for chrsitmas or where he finds peace. And you’ll pass somewhere or hear or see something that reminds you of him, but don’t let it hit you, don’t let it make you cry. Smile, and remember the moment for what it was, pure joy and happiness and a moment that just for a second protected you from everything you feared. Smile in the comfort of knowing that no two people can ever have that moment again, and even if he takes her there it will never be quite the same.
Hold on to that, but at the same time let it go my dear, let yourself be happy, let those tears you’ll cry when you get home, when you go to and from work, and when you drive past his house, let them be happy tears, tears of contentment and tears of acceptance. Smile for him, think about him on his birthday and care for him, not physically but in your mind, and find peace, let go, stay humble, and move on my dear.
Be peaceful my dear, for you are doing just fine.