February 4, 2023
These days the "Soldier, Poet, King Quiz" is going viral so out of curiosity I tried it however I was expecting I would get the Poet because I was so used to be just quiet and more of an observant. I was just there sitting in a corner with thoughts that could flood a village however I got a King. I was confused. This is not what I was expecting but the description of the King in the end of the quiz put in the puzzle.
It says, "There will come a ruler Whose brow is laid in thorn Smeared with oil like David’s boy" Duty. Strength. Resignation. You were told to do things and you did them. The world is something that was put into your hands and that you must deal with - so you will. You have a rigid back and steady hands, either metaphorically or physically. Is it nature or nurture? You don’t know. You are tired of being steady. You dream of feeling alive. Not that you aren’t, but, sometimes, it’s hard to remember that there is a heart between your ribs. Your love is where you breathe. Come on, breathe. In. Out. It starts now."
After reading it I started thinking a lot. Maybe I am indeed a King. Destined for something and because of that I sometimes forgot how to live. I sometimes forgot that there is indeed a heart between my ribs and that I do need to breathe. The world will be here no matter how long it takes but I won't. One day I'll leave without a notice, without a warning. So why do I have to feel like I was being chased? Probably because I was afraid to fail, I feel like if I fail I am no longer valid to live and enjoy.
After that test I realized why I didn't get the Poet. It's because poets are already free, they already have the freedom that they want but I don't. Not that I wasn't given any but because it wasn't given full and because of that I crave it. I crave the freedom that people my age have. The amount of courage they have inside them that lets them to live the way they wanted.
Maybe someday I'll have the same or I may never do but who cares? It's my life after all. I don't need people's approval to do something what I need is self-approval. I need to allow myself to fail, to be someone that is not afraid of the consequences because if I let myself be scared, I'll probably die without doing anything I wanna experience.
