an ode to impatience

free verse poem about the frustration of getting better at standup comedy

photo by and of author, mere minutes before not crushing it.

pavement shin splint winter
ice on mics on comedy
writing to identity
away from subway stop
faster than snow
slower than rent
easier than dating

I wanna keep
so many secrets
that my real secrets
fade to oblivion
let me lock the door
of a room stuffed with
too much everywhere
wall crumble to dust.

cobwebs of memories
sink like boredom
there is no self
not anymore
online, we merge
vicious angels of temptation

dopamine daughters
waiting to learn nothing
easing tension from failure
with the idea of an escape route
a secret hatch
with a lever
somewhere

I refuse to arrive early
for a goal that’s made me wait.

apl, 1.17.24, completed at 1:33am EST