Today’s world most demanding skill.

It’s not Big Data nor Programming we are talking about. It’s Emotional Intelligence; a set of skills needed for a life boost.

Most people are afraid of being alone because they are forced to sit with someone they don’t know. People when sitting alone meets themselves.

When one doesn’t know himself well, he/she can’t plan for themselves or take any ownership over anything. They end up as a gear in a big machine that they don’t know why it’s working or what it is achieving. yet, smart people choose to take another path.

Emotional Intelligence is the ability to understand and act upon your emotions and others’ as well. It’s a combined skill or, as I call it, a brain network. Think of a spider’s web. It consists of tiny veins connected together. Those tiny veins form bigger groups which we call skills. Self-awareness, self-motivation, self-regulation and pro-activity are these skills that build most of the web. Let’s break that web down to understand this term that captures the world’s interest.

You know you practice self-awareness when:

· You always ask yourself “Why?” and you are actually looking for an answer.

· You observe your inner self, wonder about your actions and question your identity.

· You are honest with yourself and you don’t feel offended when you are ideas are challenged, you actually challenge your own ideas.

· You get lost.

Self-awareness is the base upon which everything else is built. Its growth is limitless. Thus, It’s the thing you should never stop practicing. You should never stop questioning your identity, core values, dreams, things you stand for and things you want to change in the world. It’s your secret shield and your tent. It’s everything you need. It’s your image about who you are.

After you know who you are, your values and where and how are you going, there comes motivation.

You know you have motivation when:

· Your core values are your answer for any “why?” question. E.g. — Why do you work in teaching? Because I believe every change begins with good education.

· You are emotionally attached to your goals. E.g. — Why do you work in medicine? My father died of cancer.

Motives appears in the small things. It’s the distance between “I will try again” and “I’ll try further”.

Try to figure out your genuine and concrete motives. Don’t just say:“I want to be a better person”. In what way? Always try to have global yet precise motives, even bigger than the globe.

Fred Swaniker, Founder of African Leadership Group, once wrote: “Before you do anything, ask yourself three questions. Is it big enough? Am I capable of doing it? Is it worth the effort?”. I think the three questions could help growing up your motives. And, therefore, your contribution.

Now that you know who, why and how. Self-regulation comes as a priority.

You know you practice self-regulation when:

· You leave FiFa/Netflix/your bed to work on a priority.

· You only speak when there’s a necessity to do so.

· You change your bad habits.

· You unplug, step back and reflect.

· You know what not to focus on.

self-regulation is a habit. It’s hard to create and easy to lose. It’s a mind-pattern enforced by continuous practice. Honesty is a necessity for self-regulation; you will not achieve anything until you stop making excuses, procrastination and faking the truth.

On the contrary, don’t work like a machine. You need spirituality, reflection and fun. Don’t be anxious if you caught yourself staring at the ceiling for 10 minutes thinking of nothing. Studies show that unplugging pushes one’s will forward. Take a break.