The Restroom Drama

ABDUL WAJID
Corporate satire

“Excuse me boss!!” I thought of asking a young fellow over-embellishing himself timelessly before
the mirror. The guy, as if my thoughts reached his mind, reciprocated back with a disgusting look
on his face. “Hey Dandy, if you are done with your makeup, can I get some space to wash my
hands?” I wanted to bark at his face. The fellow, again as if listening to my thoughts, stepped
back halfheartedly giving me some space to wash my hands. “Thank you,” I expressed back to
him, although unthankfully.
This is the scenario that usually defines a restroom in a corporate. Guys combing their already
decorated hair, others waiting for their turn, many others standing inline to unzip their bladder
and the rest busy in the toilet cabins. Apart from this usual business, there are many funny and
weird things that keep on going inside the restrooms.
Funnily enough, at times, there are bald guys who take more time to stabilize the last few traces
of hair on their skull. No offence. Secondly, there are some crazy people who take mobile devices
along with them into the toilet cabins only to kill their boredom or more appropriately to kill their
curiosity of finishing the latest season of their favorite English series downloaded last night.
Sometimes one can even hear the slogan songs of some of the famous android games being played
inside the locked cabins.
Talking about the locked cabins, at times it also happens that you enter into a cabin that is not
locked from inside and the guy sitting on the toilet embarrassingly stands to defend his privacy.
Zounds!
For me the most disgusting thing while entering into the toilet cabin is finding the seat badly
unclean. Many weird people have this very weird habit of sitting over the seat rather than sitting
on the seat. Some of them are too lazy to press the flush button and hence leave back their traces
to welcome other’s disgust.
Another funny part is watching people cleaning their face in summers against the sweat with toilet
paper that is meant to clean the other unclean part of our body. Phew! People, all drenched in
sweat, rush into the toilet cabin and without a second thought, unroll a full length of toilet paper
over their hands before they apply it on their drenched face. But then again there are also times
when we have proper face napkins provided in our restrooms, sparing the poor toilet papers. Well
that period defines the respected client visits. Ha-ha!
Last and I am sure not the least, there are many people who annoy taking long time to dry off
their wet hands over the hand-drier. Some people also use it to air their wet handkerchief that
takes even more time, adding to the annoyance. — use your weaPEN — Before I finish, I feel my comments would be incomplete, rather biased, if I don’t talk about the
ladies restroom. Well I am not sure about the actual business that goes inside a ladies room apart
from the usual. But I can certainly presume it would be lot more dramatic and eventful than the
gents’ restroom. It would be full of chitchats, backbiting, badmouthing and all the powder and
paint business. A trivial attempt to complete the story to its bottom-line:
She comes in her best clothes
with a life-sized bag hanging along.
The bag that carries her small world
and the make-up kitty from the e-store.
A scarf from the pricey mall
and a slipper from the Linkin Road.
Without a second thought
she enters the ladies room.
Opens up the kitty of cosmetic tools;
the powder, paint and her favorite shades.
Decorating, beautifying and gilding the lily;
She gabs, whispers and checks others alike.
Ladies who lunch and the mutton dressed lamb
she finally feels she is relieved.

P.S. This is another fictional work of the author. Any kind of resemblance would be just
another candid co-incidence.

— use your weaPEN —

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