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Wouldn’t have to be this way if white separatists — as you’ve now obnoxiously rebranded yourselves in another feeble attempt to conceal the neonazi, white supremacist, altright, white nationalist core of which you are at once both proud and simultaneously ashamed — hadn’t come offline, out the closet, backwoods, or parents’ basements — whatever the pathetic case may be — to hassle tolerance and threaten the legacy of civil rights.

That’s why go back to the closet is now a joke at the expense of anyone who is laughably oblivious of how other people react to them; in this case rightwingers, not gays. Don’t you remember that south park 15 years ago when R Kelly sang come out the closet to Tom Cruise? Or are you Russian, that thus foreign to you, and this conversation not even real?

Clint Eastwood liberals protect and defend the weak. Love kids, families, and fags too. Think the underground railroad was the high-water mark of American civilization. And stand up to institutionalized racism, state religion, big business, and the forever war. We know better than to bring a knife to a gunfight. Can’t fight with one hand tied behind our back. Fight fire with fire. Shoot to kill. And perhaps most importantly, don’t start fights; finish them.

Most importantly, we have both time and the people on our side. Because America will soon be rainbow brown, and its former masters on the outside looking in. They can’t kill all the natives, keep former slaves down forever, nor perpetually stifle the will of liberated women and enlightened youth.

The dying white tribe is outnumbered. And soon — thanks to weakened gun control, growing incomes, increased purchasing power, expanding markets, and rampant firearms production — will also be outgunned. So go ahead. Pass legislation making it easy for everyone — nonwhites, other minorities, and immigrants included — to also buy guns. Make our day.

Do unto others? Turn the other cheek? Love your enemies? Blessed are the meek and peacemakers? Fuck that; the ultraright taught us our lesson: Drop the bomb. Pull the trigger. String them up. Hang them high. Show no mercy. No fear. And take no prisoners!

If what you say about me is true — including your implication of my being a closeted stormtrooper of your nonmaster race — then what are we bickering about? We oughta get along great! Can’t imagine why we don’t.

Or why the identity politics you just named don’t fear me, but do fear those of your ilk. I just happen to understand and speak the language of white victims, free speech, men’s rights, virtue signaling, and microaggressions because I too was raised over yonder among the 2A philistines out in the baptist woods. 2oth century ciswhite christian jackass is my native tongue!

And peak 21st century has nothing to do with the master race; it’s ancient immigrants, not nativist neanderthal whites! Because europeans had the good fortune to evolve at a nice crossroads where many ancient travelers wanted to go. Where through rich, diverse exchange with the rest of the known world, they leveraged its best science, education, and technology. This equipped them to find more nice places, which they usually sought to de/repopulate.

That last bit sucks. And why you guys still obsess over finishing the detestable job our ancestors started is indefensible. Like the constitution, we should regularly revisit and reexamine old traditions that may no longer cohere to new realities. The only immigrants in the modern period who really posed a threat to their culture of destination were white eurochristian settlers and their ad hoc final solution against the natives.

Like Maverick said: “What is it with you people and indians? I try to kill at least one a day; if possible, before breakfast! And I figure it’s their fault too; for being on our land before we got here.”

Plus, America’s great because of its diversity. America is not the master race; it is an amalgam of many races. And the only threat to it anywhere near commensurate with the one posed by rightwing extremism is that of islamic fundamentalist terrorists. With whom you guys have much in common. Yes, I’m conflating dipshit religion with dipshit politics. And yes again, I realize not all of the one dipshits are also necessarily of the other dipshitery. But this grotesque generalization remains an anecdotally apt stereotype.

If I’ve got you all wrong, I apologize. But based on what you write, I don’t believe I do. You are right about one thing though: fatshaming is bad. Some can’t help it and are actually born that way, so I shouldn’t say such things. It’s cruel, unthinking, and contradicts my signaled virtues. I’m sorry.

But like prowar christians, blame your heroes Nixon and Reagan for it.