3 reasons why making a Wish List will ruin Christmas

Ok fine, not quite.

But I do think that Wish Lists result in a worse overall giving/receiving experience.

These 3 Reasons are going to sound very much like the first-world problems of a culture poisoned by a myopic focus on instant, personal gratification.
This is because they are.
But I state these 3 Reasons (sort of) tongue-in-cheek. Please react accordingly.

NECESSARY CONTEXT
AGE: Adult
JOB: Yes
SANTA: Probably not real.

1. There’s nothing on it that we *really* want.

Wish Lists were much easier to make back when your family’s ability to buy Things for you was much greater than my ability to buy Things for yourself.
10 year old Abel probably wanted some Thing or another. But his assets consisted of a large drawer of baseball cards and about $17 stuffed into a hollow ceramic pig (also, why?).

In this context, a Wish List presents a monumental opportunity. Just imagine if, once every year, you received gifts that were cumulatively worth 10x your current net worth?

Fast forward to the present day: If you really want the Thing, you probably already have it.

If you don’t have it, then it’s because either A) you can’t afford it or B) because you don’t really want it that badly.

If A, then they aren’t going to buy it for you either.
If B, why are you trying to accumulate more Things you don’t really want?

One could imagine a flow chart where all routes lead to “Do not put the Thing on your Wish List.”

If you find yourself, like me, struggling to think of Things to put on your list, you should a) be thankful for your insanely privileged life, and b) seriously reconsider asking for more Things you don’t really want.

Of course, maybe you really do want it, but you don’t have it yet because you just thought of it recently.
But then you’re in for:

2. The self-inflicted waiting game.

When venting about this to my brother, he agreed and added: “Really, it’s an inconvenience to hold off on getting Things you want just so other people can get them for you all at once.”

We’re the worst.

I broke a guitar string two weeks ago. I suppose I could break down and buy a pack of new strings, but then I’d have to think of something else to replace it on my damn Wish List.
So now I can’t play guitar until after Christmas.

I am in the middle of restoring a 1980s mountain bike. I need some special tools and parts to go any further. So now, progress has since been halted until after Christmas because I’ve decided that I need those Things for my damn Wish List more than I need them for this restoration project.

So I suppose you should populate your Wish List with things that you don’t mind waiting for.
Maybe some things that would be of absolutely no use to you right now, but will suddenly become desirable immediately after the holidays.
Uhh.. Tax filing software?

There has got to be a better way.

3. 0% Magic, 100% Lazy

There should be a difference between a receiving a gift and placing a product order. Wish Lists blur the line.

In past years, I have sent out a Wish List that consisted of 8 links to Amazon product pages.
This method is very efficient for everyone involved.

You click, you wait 2 days.
You plunk the Amazon shipping box, unopened, into a festive gift bag (which you also ordered on Amazon).
You post on Facebook: Finished my Christmas shopping before December 1!! #organized #typeA #crushingit #planyourworkworkyourplan

Just imagine the devastating time-suck if it was your responsibility to think about who the person is, and what gift might mean a lot to them if it were given to them by you.
Who has time for that?? Ick.

Today, wishers can wish for a precise size, color, and serial number — and givers can give with matching precision. No uncertainty, no returns, no disappointments, and — above all else — no surprises.

Heck, you’re not even surprised when other people open their gifts.
You already saw their Wish Lists.

Darth Vader: Luke... I know what you’re getting for Christmas.
Luke Skywalker: Uhh… How?
Darth Vader: I felt your presents.

To be clear, I am very grateful for all the love and many other Things I receive — both at Christmas and throughout the year. And I bet you are too!
But I think there is more joy in Giving when you’re not just fulfilling a request. And I think there is more joy in Receiving when you didn’t request it.

Conclusion

I’m going to aim to give personalized surprises this year.
This means my family probably won’t get everything on their Wish List. But I have a hunch that we’ll all be just fine with that.

A few years ago, on Christmas, I opened a package from my brother. It contained documents certifying that I had — unbeknownst to me — recently become an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church.
Apparently, you can do that online in exchange for a small fee and a few clicks.
I haven’t performed any ceremonies of holy matrimony (yet), but the whole family had a good laugh at my new identity as a “man of the cloth.” My brother knew I was the perfect person to appreciate such a Thing.

It wasn’t on my Wish List, of course. But it was easily the best present under the tree.