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I was scolded by the hostel management after which I signed a form that stated that I would be expelled if a fight happens again.
I was lost at this point as all efforts to meet Kachi turned out to be futile. The worst was that I still stayed in the same room with the devil responsible for my pain.
My attention span in class and willingness to take my study seriously started declining and it didn’t take long before I became a shadow of myself.
All I wanted was simple; to know what she said to him and to figure out how to make things right with him.
After a while, I realized that taking the violent route in the matter was not the best. And so, I made up my mind to have a heart to heart discussion with Shade.
“I’m losing myself and you know it. You know how much I love Kachi. Can you please tell me what you said to him?” I asked her, with tears dropping out of my eyes.
She looked at me softly, after which she took my hands and caressed it.
“Forget Kachi…he is not meant for you”, she said and patted my cheeks shortly.
I felt a pump of adrenaline in my veins and that instant, I felt the urge to grab her neck and strangle her to death.
But then, the letter I signed flushed past my memory and without having any other thoughts, I shoved those wild plans in my head aside.
Shade went on with her life, pretending as though she was not the major factor responsible for my pain.
I fell in love with alcohol and a day will not pass without getting myself drunk and wasted.
Most times, I would be asleep during class hours…just because I still suffered a hangover.
Shade did nothing about this apart from informing the other girls in the hostel that her roommate was now an alcoholic.
Shade started doing things loudly. She would talk excessively on calls and laugh hysterically …indirectly feeding on my pain and telling me that there was nothing I could do to make her tell me what she told Kachi.
One Sunday, I finally decided to attend a church service after rejecting countless invitations by a course mate.
The church was about one hour away from the school and I jumped on it because I wanted a long road trip.
During the service, I caught sight of someone who was clearly spirit filled. On a closer look, I realized that it was Kachi.
My heart skipped a beat and my heart raced in excitement and anxiety. I was glad that I finally saw him after some months. The feeling was surreal.
Immediately after the service, I walked up to him and tapped his shoulders.
“Hi”, I mumbled awkwardly.
He was taken aback for a second, but recovered almost immediately.
“Mercy…”, he called out, obviously not so pleased to see me.
“What happened? You suddenly switched on me. I kept wondering what happened until I realized my roommate told you something”, I folded my hands to my chest and glared at him.
He cleared his throat and took in a deep breath.
“You are going to be disrespectful and I figured that out after talking to Shade”, he dropped and for a minute, i thought I had just heard wrongly.
“Disrespectful?”
“But we’ve dated for close to two years. Why would you make such a conclusion after a conversation with Shade?” I asked again, searching through his eyes as though the answer laid there.
“Nothing…”, he replied and walked away.
I went back to the hostel and waited for Shade’s return.
“I saw Kachi today”, I started the moment she walked into the room.
She was stunned but only laughed and nodded.
“That’s great”.
“You told him i am disrespectful?” I asked, breathing heavily, with my fists clenched in rage.
“Not that exactly…something different. But forget about all that because Kachi is not the guy for you”, Shade replied as she took off her shirt and sat on her bed.
“Don’t look at me like I’m the devil. I only told him the truth”, she dropped.
“And what is the truth?” I asked immediately, almost at the verge of losing my patience.
“That you are over ambitious and focused, with high standards and very career minded”, she explained.
“Trust me, I meant no harm. I only wanted him to know the type of person you are and to let him know that you are very valuable”, she added almost immediately.
“He left after that information and that explains that he wasn’t meant for you”, she said in finality.
I could feel my head spinning at this point just as I replayed Kachi’s words and compared them to that of Shade.
Kachi had said that I was going to be disrespectful and putting the pieces together, I realized that it was making some sense now.
“Who sent you to tell him that? What was your business with my relationship? Why won’t you focus on your life and leave mine alone?” I screamed out of my lungs as tears poured out of my eyes.
Despite the tears, I felt the rush of sincerity in my veins…Shade was right.
I was a very ambitious young woman who held career with all her might. I hid that part of me from Kachi because I loved him and wanted to ascertain what his reaction to that would be. I wanted to be a politician some day…to be at the top and among the well known ladies in the country.
But that didn’t mean that I would be disrespectful, right?
The next Sunday, I went to that same church but this time, I wanted closure with Kachi.
“She told you I am over ambitious and focused and that made you to turn your back on me?” I asked him.
“She said you wanted to be a politician. I can’t deal with that! I hate over ambitious ladies…it’s irritating and disgusting”,
he declared.
“So…I’m disgusting because I wish to be a politician?” I inquired.
“Yes…you are!” He said.
I landed a firm slap on his cheeks and added one more to it.
“You are the disgusting one! And yes, you don’t deserve me”, I screamed and walked away from the scene.
I couldn’t believe that I called Shade the devil all these while when Kachi was the one.
I sat in front of my mirror that night just as Shade slept and I couldn’t help but blame myself.
The minute Kachi ended things with me without saying a word was when I was meant to forget that he ever existed.
Shade was just being her normal wide mouthed self, but she did me a favor by exposing the true person Kachi was.
I picked up my pieces in no time and went on with my life, knowing that Kachi never deserved me and at the right time, I would find the right person; someone who won’t term me as “disrespectful”, just because I want to pursue my career in politics.
And as for Shade, our spirits never made peace…we only had to live and persevere as roommates until we graduated.
END.
