Saying You Are Sorry
A couple of days ago , I was doing what I do on twitter best, finding news and reading about the latest psychology thriller books available when I came across a tweet. It read “OUR GENERATION LACKS THE ABILITY TO SAY _I AM SORRY_ BECAUSE THE ADULTS IN OUR LIVES DON’T SAY IT WHEN NEEDED”. So well, aside being hungry it got me thinking and so I decided why don’t I rant.
I am going to start of with the need to apologize. If you know me well enough then you know the words I AM SORRY roll off my tongue like anything else. I guess it is where I reside. Being polite is very needed. but again if you know me well enough then you will know saying the meaningful I AM SORRY is very hard for me. I don’t know how to keep apologizing once I have apologized. Its like IF I SAID AM SORRY THE FIRST TIME AND YOU DIDN’T ACCEPT IT THEN WE GOOD SIT THERE WHEN YOU CALM DOWN LET ME KNOW. I can agree it sounds like a bitchy thing to do or say but I feel like when one apologizes to me I take it and keep it moving.
In our culture, or should I say my culture, the adult is never wrong regardless and the adult never apologizes or is not suppose to apologize. I remember when a girl was dragged on twitter for saying she didn’t understand how some of us lived in our homes without being told by our parents that they loved us. In a way I understood where she was coming from but I also felt like some of us come from homes where I LOVE YOU is more than words.
My father doesn’t hesitant to let me know he missing me and he loves me . the man takes leave off work just to fly for 25hours to see his baby girl.( oh yes I am spoilt and loved let me brag about it ) but when it comes to my mother , I’m sorry to tell you , you will rather drag her over fire and ice and hell before you will get a hug. However she has been my mother for more than 25years and she has her own way of telling me loves me. The extra meat and cooking for you and doing your laundry is more than enough. My mother is the definition of the African Mama Bear. Its like no one is allowed to curse me out but her. If you heard a few of my voice note with my mother then you know there is definitely love in the air.
Now when it comes to saying I AM SORRY again I get it when I ask for it or when it is needed. In my previous post I mentioned how I was never told NO as a child even into ma adulthood. I was made to understand why I was told NO so I was a child and am still a person who was barely crossed with my parents. My parents are not afraid to apologize and I am not the type to kind my displeasure at something. I am a real born whinner. I will whine and scream and kick and refuse to eat. As much as it sounds odd to you , I guess i found a way to get my parents to apologize.
Nothing hunted my parents more than my refusal to eat. Whatever needed to be done will be done. Don’t get it wrong. I was corrected and am still corrected when needed but the corrections come with love and patience and some little pampering. I get an apology when I make it known I am hurt. Not once did I get told to deal with my feelings or I was not allowed to feel the way I felt.
Bringing it back to the general population. I have always expected people to apologize to me when I make it known my feelings have been hurt and same goes for them. I don’t expect anyone to tell me how I feel because it is MY feelings and I can feel them. Its sad that we come to a point in our lives and in this world that we find it so hard to apologizes to each other. People undermine other people’s feelings and others feel like as long as they don’t see it as hurtful then its okay. People have failed to understand the implications of hurting someone and acting unaware, ignoring their feelings or simply disregarding their feelings.
I AM SORRY goes a long way to solve so many things. Psychologically, maybe our parents have failed to recognize their we mimic them and so their refusal to apologize based on culture has made it hard for us to also learn to apologize when we offend others. We apologize to adults even when they are wrong all in the name of Culture.
Now I respect culture a lot but does it also mean we disregard our psychological and behavioural mind all in the name of CULTURE. I am glad and grateful that I have parents who taught me to apologize no matter social status or culture. I have to admit the people in my love that I hold so dear to me also do well to apologize.
It can be hard to say I AM SORRY , sometimes it feels like if you apologized you will somehow became bald and short (not that being short is bad I mean am short but like ma talking like..lets move on) . it takes a special someone to apologize to you when they hurt you and when someone apologizes to us we should try not to make it so hard. Sometimes we get carried away and we want to hear begging and pleading but one honest I AM SORRY is worth more than millions of fake pleading just to get you to calm down.
I hope we grow up to teach our children that’s its okay to apologize when you wrong, its okay to respect other people feeling and apologize and apologizing doesn’t make you less of a person or a loser. If anything it makes you mature in some funny way. A quick and simple apologize goes on to solve so many things.
So maybe we should learn to apologize more and be more accepting of apologize. For me food apologizes are the best if it is banku and okro and goat meat
