for when you can’t assemble the words in your story

I have been tongue-tied and teary-eyed for several days now. Just when I think that I might be able to say I’m “ok,” grief steps in to remind me that I’m not. I know what I want to write about, but don’t know how to say it. Many days, I have desired to remain in the dead of my sleep so I don’t have to be present for this shit anymore. Tomorrow is Tuesday. Back to work. Back to Tuesday.

she stands in the Bay

facing the Sun

looking out at the nothingness on the horizon

the next big wave is visible

and she embraces it, like the wave before

but it is the small one

that knocks her off her feet

arms flailing 360 degrees

she reaches out for family

she reaches out for friends

she reaches out for god

knowing there is no one to save her

she becomes motionless

pinning her arms to her sides

praying for the sweet surrender

as the water rises between her lips and nose

she eyes her orange towel on the shore

much further to the right than before

her toe touches the sand

she realizes she can stand

then turns again

to walk to the sun for more


These are the links within this story. Read them at your leisure for greater understanding, curiosity, or confusion.