get over it

I was asked if I was mad at the world. My answer was, not really.

I was asked if I skated anymore. My answer was, no; I’m not interested.

I was asked if I like my job and/or enjoyed work this week. My answer was, I don’t care; it’s just a job.

I was asked if I was open to online dating. My answer was, I’m not against it; I just don’t care.

Some jokes were told to me. I didn’t laugh. In fact, I made it clear that it wasn’t funny.

I don’t know what I care about. I am bothered. I am bothered by mainly stupid things, unnecessary things, conversations with people who don’t get it…and I don’t think they are trying to get it…but they think they are being helpful somehow.

Is 13 weeks too long of a time to ask people to let me be? They act like I am self-destructing…as if they forgot that one year ago, I was drowning in depression and grief didn’t even exist. What’s it to them now?

Am I not allowed to continue to grieve over My Friend? Am I not allowed because it involves a man? Am I not allowed because that man was married?

Why am I associated with seemingly some of the most non-compassionate, narrow-minded folk? How do these folks become so attracted to me but so confused and even repulsed by my line of thinking, my alternative viewpoints and the way I life my life? Why do they think I was so attracted to Bo? It wasn’t because of his looks on the outside….

Why don’t they just ask me the simple question? Why did He make me so happy?

They haven’t asked.

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