one three

I shed tears last night, before I closed my eyes, knowing that Tuesday was coming…or maybe just because I was sad.

I shed tears on my drive to work, while listening to my same old slow jams, because it is Tuesday…or maybe just because the lyrics got to me:

“Won’t you come over and make love to me cause I haven’t seen you in a while, really miss your smile…”

It has been 13 weeks now. Glad that I am no longer crippled by grief. But I carry on with what feels like an eternal sadness…like my own shadow is on top of me.

The sun doesn’t seem as bright, nor the moon as clear. The stars don’t shine. Everything is just there, in 2D.

I go outside at the beginning of the storm to feel the warm wind whipping against my face, to feel the dirt kicking up into my eyes, to see the dark clouds pass way above my head. I wish for gray skies and rainy days and thunderstorms to provide an excuse to stay indoors, curl up in my bed and stare at the ceiling.

Thirteen weeks is too long to go without your Lover’s touch, without hearing His voice, without seeing His face, without reading His messages.

Everything that you knew is still true but nothing you know makes sense.

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