searching through grief

At the beginning of my journey through grief, I immediately began looking for articles about death and grief. Originally, I was comforted by posters and links on Facebook — the place where I wrote my first grief post about two weeks after Love died.

Next, I began searching for articles about the Kubler-Ross stages of grief. I learned some details about it that I wasn’t taught in Psych 101. I even shared it with my students, boldly asking them what stage they thought I was in merely 3 days post tragedy.

Ultimately, I started searching through articles on the web in which others shared their expertise (Mateja Klaric)(Janet Frishberg) and experiences with death and the loss of loved ones.

Nothing resonates like the personal stories I have read by many authors here on Medium. There is a category called Grief, and a smaller one, Grief and Loss, that I perused often until I felt like I had read them all.

I read about the loss of mothers (Kisha Walker)(Felicia C. Sullivan)(Sashka Rothchild)(Jamie Nesbitt Golden)(Paleo/Primal Ireland)(Annette)(KimBoo York) and fathers (Jonas Ellison)(Andy Romanoff)(walkerjo lee)(Magnus Hambleton)(Jack), babies (Erin Caton) and children — in utero (Hugo Schwyzer) and adults — , grandmothers and grandfathers (R.Tamang)(Malvika), aunts and uncles, cousins (Christopher Carmichael), friends (Buchi Okoro)(Jenna Regan)(Shana Riley)(Nara Kasbergen)(Jill Stauffer)(Angiest In Seattle), and a teacher (Dan Moore), brothers (Tope A)(Maria Gotay)(Jeremy Glass), spouses (Thom Garrett)(Rachie Rach)(Dorian Wanzer)(Slim Pickings), and lovers (Lisa Williams)(Michon Neal). I paid the most attention to the loss of intimate partners. I can feel almost every word…such description makes my own account almost unnecessary.

But still I write. Sometimes it feels obligatory and it stresses me the fuck out. My intention was for it to be therapeutic. And it is.

Much love to all of those who expose their raw emotion (Yehoshua Ventura) for their own healing, so that we all may heal. There is value in feeling like you’re just plain normal (Normal Earthling)(arb)(Joshua Hehe) when you feel such despair.

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