which tuesday is it?

It’s Tuesday. I knew it when I awoke this morning. But I couldn’t remember which number it was/is.

Is it the 11th Tuesday? Did I already mark the 10th Tuesday? Tonight, I’m too tired to check. I just want to go into my dreams, although I haven’t seen Love there in awhile.

I struggled with my alarm for almost an hour this morning. I wasn’t asleep, or even sleepy anymore. I just didn’t want to get up or get going in this life that I hate. Maybe grieving has been comfortable and familiar along with it’s friend depression.

But I can’t say that I am grieving or depressed anymore. I don’t know my current state, other than totally obsessed with thinking about Love, and also sex.

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