The Paradox of Choice

The need to control vs Actually having control

Its a strange thing. The more one wants control, the less one seems to get it ! The more we let go of it, the more of it we enjoy of it.

I had this realisation during a meditation where we let the mind free, letting go of any need to control it or make it focus. The funny thing was I felt unprecedented calmness in this state especially compared to when I try to make it calm by focusing on the breath !

I know that this is exactly what happens in life for me. The more I obsess about control in life, the more I lose it ! When I come to terms with my circumstance and allow life to happen, the more I seem to be in charge !

The key first step to gaining “true control” is awareness. 13 years ago, I asked myself a question which led to my quitting my smoking habit. I asked “ who is in control of my smoking ?”. I seriously didn’t like the answer and quit the next day. This was after contemplating quitting it for 6 months especially after giving up alcohol for health reasons. Those 6 months became very difficult as smoking became the “last crutch” with the sudden absence of alcohol in life. I kept telling myself that in time I would quit it like I did alcohol, but with every passing day, my need for smoking in my life only increased till the day I got honest with my relationship with it. Its been 13 years since I indulged and the only reason it has sustained because I stopped trying to control the urge and let go.