Sunday, it is. Tushar is listening to a Bollywood love song — Channa Mereya. Song ended with a dialogue whose translation goes this way—
There is a unique power in one-sided love
Like other relations, it does not get divided between two people
Only I have the right over it.
The song and especially those last words took him in past, couple of years back.
He saw her from some distance — not for the first time. She waved to him with her smile. Tushar loved seeing her smile, her shiny eyes and that dusky skin to which he usually gets attracted. Some of his previous crushes also happen to be dusky, which was realized by a friend — with whom he would share his so called secrets. But, in this situation, Tushar was sure, it was more than infatuation. There was a reason for it. He knew Radha for 3 years. Although their friendship was only a year older, but they had become besties for life. Both of them embraced each other and their friendship. They would talk about any random topics. Long conversations — some serious and sometimes gossip. They would laugh about it. Tushar felt happiness seeing her laughing. At times they would fight, argue and yell at each other, but some time later they would wonder about the reason of the fight.
First time when Tushar realized that he had feelings for her, maybe he already knew that she got into a relationship, recently. But, yet his feelings didn’t stop. It intensified with time and he felt guilty for having such feelings for his friend — best friend. No, this should be happening, he thought. All this made him angry and sad.
He would be over possessive about their friendship at times. But Radha accepted all his tantrums with regards to their friendship.
Tushar wanted to abandon all these, he wished those feelings never existed and everything would be as good & nice as before — when their friendship was developing. But seeing her every day was making it all tough.
He didn’t say about all these to anyone — not even his close friend until then. The only way to subdue or forget the feelings was to distance himself from her.
And it did happen for good. College ended & they no longer met each day. Tushar had all mixed feelings but when he got occupied with his job and his problems— the feelings started to fade. It took time, much time. Although he was in contact with Radha.They conversed less often. And with some more time he matured and conceived rationally. He knew Radha loved someone else, and she deserves that. Tushar felt good about this change in his approach. His guilt was also diminishing — of loving his best friend Radha.
Much later when he shared to his other best friend about his feeling towards Radha. The friend insisted him to tell everything to Radha. She deserves to know, he said to tushar. But, Tushar reasoned that he didn’t wish to spoil their friendship. Tushar knew very well, that their friendship is not going to break. It wasn’t fragile. Radha is mature. But he didn’t want any awkwardness later. But, also, Tushar sometimes thought Radha knew about all these. She wasn’t dumb, to not know her friend’s feelings. But she might have ignored all those as temporary or maybe she wasn’t aware at all.
As Tushar reflected over all these, another song finished — ‘Love is just waste of time’. The song is from a movie ‘PK’. A dialogue from this movie by the lead girl struck him —
‘He loved me enough to let me go.’